Humor - A warning to others

[SignalJoe]

Friends please be careful

We had our annual Independence Day party on the 4th.  I had a few beers, followed by a few cocktails,  followed by a few shots.  

I still had the sense to know that I was over the limit.  That's when I decided to do what I have never done before; I took a cab home.  Sure enough, there was a police road block on the way home, and since it was a cab they waved it past.  I arrived home safely without incident.  This was both a great relief and a surprise because I had never driven a cab before.  I don't even remember where I got it from and now that it is in my garage, I don't know what to do with it.  

 

[Ken Gargett]

many years ago, when things were somewhat more lax regarding these things, a mate's parents opened their door one morning to find a couple of sheepish but annoyed coppers.

could we look in your garage please.

why?

we are missing a police car.

it just got weird from there. but off they went to the garage and sure enough, police car in the garage, doors open and the lights still flashing.

seems said mate (more a mate of a mate, of course, because i would know no one who would do this) had been pulled over at a breath test site. they had taken him in to the caravan or whatever they have as he was seriously pissed. then there was an accident further up on the line when some other drunk ran into the back of a parked car, so all the cops bolted up there. my mate (mate of a mate) did as the old song said, 'don't you ever let a chance go by' and took off. sadly, the nearest vehicle was not his but a cop car (why would cops leave their keys in the car?). at least, this is what we believe happened as he was never too sure of the details. the cops gave some details but were not really keen to get too chatty about it. and said mate was not best pleased at being woken up with a monster hangover to be asked about a police vehicle. and remembered bugger all.

the cops felt it in everyone's interest to just take the car back and forget the entire thing. sadly for my mate (mate of a mate), his parents were not so forgiving.

[SignalJoe]

On 7/7/2017 at 7:09 AM, Ken Gargett said:

 

seems said mate (more a mate of a mate, of course, because i would know no one who would do this) had been pulled over at a breath test site. they had taken him in to the caravan or whatever they have as he was seriously pissed. then there was an accident further up on the line when some other drunk ran into the back of a parked car, so all the cops bolted up there. my mate (mate of a mate) did as the old song said, 'don't you ever let a chance go by' and took off. sadly, the nearest vehicle was not his but a cop car (why would cops leave their keys in the car?). at least, this is what we believe happened as he was never too sure of the details. the cops gave some details but were not really keen to get too chatty about it. and said mate was not best pleased at being woken up with a monster hangover to be asked about a police vehicle. and remembered bugger all.

They probably believed no one would be stupid enough to steal a cop car.   

This brings to mind my first trip to Vegas.  After an evening of indulging my buddy and I walked to a convenience store near the hotel.  What should appear to our wondering eyes but a Las Vegas Metro PD car, keys in the ignition, engine running without an officer in sight.  With visions of the recently released movie "The Hangover" fresh in our heads, I heard myself say "how epic would it be to boost the cop car, cruise the strip and valet it at Caesar's?"   

We both looked at each other with diabolical grins, contemplated it briefly and walked off with the more sober of us commenting that "as legendary as it might be, somethings are better left to the movies."  Can't recall who was the more sober level headed one of us that night, but I highly doubt it was me.  

[Williamos]

Another yarn from a more relaxed time. Friends of friends were brothers of the other kind of leaf. Late one night after heartily indulging they were driving through a very quiet suburb when they came up to round-about. No one around so they thought they'd get some kicks by driving around the round-about in reverse. Next thing, smash! They're rear-ended by a car going through in the right direction. As it happens, a police car drives into the scene before either driver can get out of their cars. Squad car pulls over, flashing lights. One copper goes to the driver of the other car and he's there for a long time. The other driver gets argumentative so much so that the second copper arrests him. The first coppers eventually walks over go my friends of a friend. "You blokes alright? The fellow in other vehicle is so drunk he swears you were driving around the round about backwards."


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[cigcars]

   ** Now THAT'S  "sauced"!  And pretty good.  

[Ken Gargett]

8 hours ago, Williamos said:

Another yarn from a more relaxed time. Friends of friends were brothers of the other kind of leaf. Late one night after heartily indulging they were driving through a very quiet suburb when they came up to round-about. No one around so they thought they'd get some kicks by driving around the round-about in reverse. Next thing, smash! They're rear-ended by a car going through in the right direction. As it happens, a police car drives into the scene before either driver can get out of their cars. Squad car pulls over, flashing lights. One copper goes to the driver of the other car and he's there for a long time. The other driver gets argumentative so much so that the second copper arrests him. The first coppers eventually walks over go my friends of a friend. "You blokes alright? The fellow in other vehicle is so drunk he swears you were driving around the round about backwards."


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it might even be the same story but another that is so close to yours that was exactly that.

from when i used to play cricket in england back in the late 80s. we'd often play villages or universities and there'd always be drinks with the opposition. after one game, some mates and i had left to head back home. one of my best mates, we met in grade 5, was also playing and well known for endless stupidity in a car. he stayed on with a few others. (now a highly regarded QC! on a much more tragic note, as funny as some of these stories are, my mate did a million imbecilic things in cars and i was in his car for far too many - not a scratch - and then his son tries something and is killed. just too sad to even imagine but it does show that while these stories are often very amusing, there are potentially horrors on the flipside). the locals told him of a famous roundabout nearby and the record was 19 times around it in reverse. determined to beat that (it was about 2am), around he goes. finally gets over 10. over 12. 14. 16. bang. reversed into some poor old bloke entering the roundabout and as luck would have it, a cop car happens to arrive a few minutes later.

and then exactly as you described it above. my mate took off real quick. love to have seen the cops' faces when the breath-tested the old guy.

i have one better story but i might save that for a video. an all time classic (an old school mate, now brizzy stockbroker, was responsible but i have since heard it told several times by people who love the story but think it must be an urban myth).

[cigcars]

                An elderly lady decided to call her elderly husband who was driving home that evening. On the cell phone she says to him, "Please be careful. On the news there's some lunatic driving the wrong way on a one-way lane!"  Her husband responds, "You're telling me! There are hundreds of them!"