The first few puffs taste similar to the smell of an empty pizza box, and I am already shaking my head.
I’ve had so many stinkers in this box and when I saw the call for reviewing my nemesis I narrowed my eyes and knew it was Monte 3. And fate would have it...It's the last one from the box. The retro-hale is not unlike the cheap powdered hot chocolate you get piping hot in a Styrofoam cup at some fundraiser. And if I am to get any decent flavour during the first third, its in the retro-hale. Its strengthened and changed into the exact taste of a chocolate Timbit (a chocolate, sugar glazed golfball shaped portion of doughnut for everyone who's not from Canada haha). The only flavour from the smoke hanging in my mouth is distant raisin and the smell of tin.
The ash falls and I get that nice flavour burst that comes when the ember is exposed to the air. It’s graham crackers instead of chocolate. And as part 2 begins I have a very pleasant chocolate milk aftertaste and for maybe 2 minutes I forget that some of the other sticks in this God forsaken box were all mineral and iodine. BUT...There is a gritty feeling building in the back of my throat. And the lingering taste of dead leaves and sand hangs in the background.
Despite all that, Monte 3 really does want to be acceptable. The chocolate donut has stuck around I have to say. and as part 3 unfolds it turns into cinnamon raisin bread, that was burnt in the toaster. The aftertaste is like the smell of a room that just got painted. Dead leaves are back in spades and usually I would throw this stupid thing out the window at this point BUT NO MY FELLOW BOTL’s I’m going to keep smoking this Dog Rocket just for you. A glimmer of hope! I get the warm yeasty bread dough vibe that sometimes happens in the final third and a touch of cinnamon is fighting through the dead leaves and sand. But No, it is a lost cause. It’s like I have a stale piece of black pepper stuck in the back of my throat. it’s more campfire than the S'mores it wants to be. The flavours unravelled long ago and now the construction unravels as I pitch this Godforsaken stick out the window and I realize the only redeeming quality of this box of Monte 3's would be to turn it into a Christmas Sampler haha Bon Voyage 2/10