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a mate sent me this - i was not familiar with the writer or participants and it may well be well-known in the states. it is a classic, but i think that there is a better one, which i'll set out below.

Greatest Headline in the History of Sports Journalism

For all you Bulldog fans and others that know better. True story, so they say....

An oldie but a goodie, especially if you were a fan of Lewis Grizzard.

Happy Dicks was a linebacker at Georgia in the mid 60's, which will make this article about the sports journalist from Georgia, the late, Lewis Grizzard, that much funnier.

On the eve of the Georgia - South Carolina game 41 years ago, I was hanging out with three Sigma Pi brothers (the Hound, Tex , and Bake), drinking a few cold PBRs at the old Callaway Gardens Apartment on the Atlanta Highway . We were discussing the upcoming game against the Gamecocks and lamenting the fact that we were going in with several key players out with injuries, including our starting DE, Billy Payne (who ran the Atlanta Olympics and is now Ch of the Board at Augusta National) and his roommate, MLB, Happy Dicks.

About 10:00 that night, another fraternity brother, Lewis Grizzard, came in after he got off work. Our buddy was inactive at the time because he had gotten married over the summer to his high school sweetheart, Nancy ( the first of many--all with the same name: Plaintiff). In addition to taking a full load at the University, he was working two jobs to help pay for (as he called it) "this expensive habit." A talented young man, he was writing two columns daily - one in the morning for the Athens Banner Herald and one in the afternoon for the Athens Daily News.

Lewis walked in, went straight to the refrigerator, got a beer, plopped down in a chair, pushed his glasses back up his nose and announced, "Gentlemen, with any luck at all, tomorrow morning you'll witness journalistic history. I have submitted my column and if it gets by my editor - and there's a good chance of that happening, since he looked drunk earlier this evening - you'll enjoy the greatest headline in the history of sports journalism."

He refused to tell us what it was, and to be honest with you, we all forgot about it. As Lewis went home to his lovely, young bride, the four of us went back over to the Fraternity house to get a head start on the weekend.

The next morning, as usual, I went straight for the Sports Section. As I pulled it out, I could do nothing but smile, because our buddy had pulled it off. To this day, Vince Dooley calls it his most memorable column ever - all because of the headline, which read:

DOGS TO PLAY ***** WITH DICKS OUT.

There's no doubt about it, it was "the greatest headline in the history of sports journalism."

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now as i said, one better -

WHEN they’re not photoshopping England managers onto vegetables or banging on about immigration the British tabloid press have occasionally been known to come up with a genuinely funny headline or two.

The best in recent memory came after Inverness Caledonian Thistle shocked Old Firm giants Celtic Park in 2000.

Plucky little Caledonian Thistle visited Celtic Park as huge underdogs for their Scottish Cup 3rd round tie that had fallen victim to the elements two weeks earlier when gales made part of the Parkhead stand unsafe. It was worth the wait for the 4,000 fans who had already made the pilgrimage across Scotland twice though, as they were to see one of the biggest shocks in Scottish football history.

Celtic were under the less than capable stewardship of John Barnes, who was having a torrid time stepping up from Lucozade ad-man into management. By the time Caledonian came to town he had the fans on his back after his team of big-money signings such as Eyal Berkovic and Stilian Petrov were letting Rangers run away with the SPL title. Whilst 2-1 down, a half-time dressing room bust-up between Barnes and stiker Mark Viduka lead to the big-bonned Aussie refusing to re-take the field in the second half and things got no better for Celtic after the break, as Caledonian went on to complete their famous victory.

As for Barnesy, he was summoned to the chairman’s office the next afternoon and given his p45. He’s had the sense not to return to management and now sticks to Strictly Come Dancing and talking very fast on Channel 5′s Italian football coverage. Kenny Dalglish stepped up from his Director of Football role, but didn’t fair too much better.

Inverness Caledonian’s cup run was to come to an end in the next round against Aberdeen, but over the next few seasons they established themselves as a bit of a bogey-team for Celtic. Another Scottish Cup win over the Bhoys followed in 2003. Not a bad cup history for a team that was only founded in 1994. Visitors to Caladonian Stadium are these days greeted to a framed copy of The Sun’s headline when they walk into the foyer and a whole host of t-shirts, posters and other merchandise fill the homes of Caledonian’s loyal fans.

It was the day when the Sun went all Mary Poppins on us, chirping that:

SUPER CALEY GO BALLISTIC, CELTIC ARE ATROCIOUS.”

Now for me, that is the greatest!

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From the Sydney Morning Herald in 2009

Hooker named Indoor Athlete of the Year

Olympic pole vault champion Steve Hooker has been named Indoor Athlete of the Year by renowned athletics publication, Track and Field News magazine.

The international athletics journal rated Hooker of Australia the year's best, above European indoor champions Ivan Ukhov of Russia (high jump) and Briton Dwain Chambers (60m).

Competing in four countries over three weeks, Hooker was dominant during his record breaking indoor campaign. He secured five victories from five competitions in the United States and Europe and reached the magical six-metre mark on three occasions.

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super-caley-go-ballistic1.jpg

i was in scotland for that. i loved the back pages of the some of the tabloids, particularly scottish daily mail (i think it was), always sports with ridiculous headlines that had absurd links to other news.

e.g. back around then one full page picture of Bin Laden wearing a hibs scarf along the lines of

HIBS ARE SO SHI'ITE Osama is signing up

Craig Bellamy as the NUTTER WITH A PUTTER also stands out in my memory. Used to pin the best ones up on my wall.

One day i came across both of these headlines:

  • HRH MOTORBOATS BLONDE IN MIDGET MADNESS BAR Onlooking dwarves don't give a toss

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/3815013/Mike-Tindall-gropes-blonde.html (can't find actual headline pic anymore)

  • Same day i stumbled on this great story - amazing.

RamsayDwarfBadgerHeadline.png

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