Never Ending Story Comp: May

[Orion21]

I see your carrot and raise you a pear.

Why a pear you say? Why not?

The type of reward that is promised in return matters not.

Freedom and Liberty are all that is required.

To secure said pear after it has already expired.

So educate your young to understand this debate.

See past the pear to the real point of our global debate.

In the meantime, light up and celebrate that we are free as the birds.

Just don't be that bird who flies to the park.

No smoking allowed.

[zeedubbya]

I can't imagine we will make posterity proud,

The closer we get to seeing the embargo lift

The closer toward communism we seem to get

What's our way out of this big ole mess

An election of two shameful candidates for pres.

We should care most that only 30 percent vote

Our forefathers would be pained at the history we wrote

At least we have the universal friendship of the smoke

I just hope taxes and 24:24 don't make me broke!

[Diamondog]

I wish the 24 24 would make me broke...my cards run deep and when i buy it aint no joke! but alas i dont seem to get the timing right to buy a box or 10 of my favorite delight...so ill keep checkin and one day the stars will align and ill pull the trigger in due time...

[TomF]

Some people can't help

making it political

it's just poetry

[jmg]

Haiku! how could you?

senseless rhyming is the theme

just kidding, proceed

[MnBrian]

Holy crap, a contest? I can't believe my burning eyes!

I hope Rob doesn't mind it, but I'd like to subsidize

by buying lots of stock, I hear a guy can really score

If he takes a second mortgage on those 24/24's.

[MrGlass]

I proceed to order more and more,

while staring anxiously at the door.

I'm still not sure who will cause more strife,

government, debt collectors or my wife.

Now I sit here budgeting my pay,

Ensuring there's a cigar for tomorrow, and one for today.

[DropTopDee]

its a prerequisite to end my day

without it i'd go astray.

a sip and a puff ...man was that honey?

Hush up ROB and take my money.

Arms folded with the meanest glare,

yea she doesn't think this sh*t is funny.

[tsolomon]

I wait each day to do my part,

but many times I miss the start.

I send an email and await Di's reply,

but once again I missed the buy.

[RickHendeson]

That seems to be a common lament

From those collectors who are hell-bent

Yet sleepy from the day gone by

Or with kids enough to patience try

[Mattygukas]

Patience is a virtue, so say the czars

But it is so hard to show, while aging my cigars.

I need a reason, for a walk-in humidor,

Or my wife will surly, show me the door.

I say it was another twenty four twenty four, but then she follows up with nevermore nevermore.

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[sighuber]

It was a story that the Prez requested

But it seems that some members need to be more rested

The thread morphed into a series of rhymes

Explaining how this hobby takes all our time...

So let's get back to the task requested

Why had the smoke detector not been tested?

[Ribeye]

All OK. The detector has been tested, as suggested.

I lament the tone should be rested.

I attempt to give the post a bump.

I dare not mention an aspiring politico that sounds like grump.

I prefer to speak of ammo and gun,

but that too is a topic to shun.

Some prefer a gal who sounds shrill...the one whose husband left us a bill

If selected and elected,

all my posts will be collected.

Then our sons, guns and loved ones will be highly taxed.

while those who sit at home their checks will be maxed.

Where in the world is left to go, I know not.

but here with my cigar brethren, I've hit the jackpot

[ThePolskiOgorki]

A poet I am not,

But I will give it a shot,

Forget about checking the smoke detector,

The requirement is merely conjecture,

Our chef is a master so we can risk it,

Get out the knife and slice the brisket,

Pile it high on a bun,

With coleslaw but not a creamy one,

Chew slow and savor,

Don't rush your experience of flavor,

When the meal is done,

Pour the bourbon,

Put out that cheroot,

And lets find a box to loot

[Mattygukas]

Now that my stomach is full, it is time for that hidden jewel.

So I dig in my humidor, find my aged bolivar libertador. I light it up, good rum in my cup, and enjoy the old Cuban tour.

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[Raginaharjar]

Relatively new as a afficionado

I have now found my Eldorado

As Prez said, it´s a slippery slope

Buying cigars at 24:24 has become my dope

Oh man am I waiting for Boli PC

Whats up next, I´m eager to see

(pardon my english, not my native language)

[Akela3rd]

A fella called Raginaharjar

He likes to smoke a cigar

He's hooked on the sale

The buzz never fails

Now he's waiting on his Bolivar

Boom boom!

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[cooper669]

As winter turns to spring

I finally begin to smoke outside

With a cocktail around the fire ring

Maybe I'll take Monte A for a ride

3 hours should be enough

To make it to Monte's final puff.

nubbed

[tsolomon]

It has been a bad Spring and I hate to complain,

but so far this year we have had too much rain.

19 out of 23 days in May and I'm feeling down,

and the sun came out today eliminating my frown.

I'm outside with my cigar trying to escape these blues,

with the thermometer reading almost 82.

There's a brisket to smoke for a weekend bash,

and friends to celebrate with cigars smoked down to the ash.

 

 

[MnBrian]

I bought a bird feeder for the warm weather

but cardinal or blue jay neither showed their face together.

Every morning I'd wake early and look out my window,

and the feeder would be surely running lower than low

Until one day I came from work and went on up to my room,

to see the thieving jerk was just a dang raccoon.

[Yagermeister]

Definitely a burglar, just look at his mask!

That raccoon sure seems up to the task.

Looks like you caught him red-handed,

Celebrate by smoking something double-banded.

And when you go out and kick the bugger in the crotch,

Might I suggest pairing with a nice single malt scotch?

[WhiteMamba]

Are you suggesting that he eat the raccoon?

I think he would be much better eating a macaroon.

Maybe you have had too much Yager.

I recommend just sending your friend to your  neighbor. (its close )

 

 

[jmg]

its been raining cats and dogs, in hanoi since last night

dont worry he says, everythings gonna be allright

i have my ol' surf board, and nothing to do

i think I'll go rowing, you think that'd be cool?

row once to the left, roll once to the right

this guy's having a blast, you can tell he's a sight

a sight for the locals, who are in awe of his skills

these pix have been circulating all morning, absolutley no frills

[Yagermeister]

No, I was actually talking about pairing the cigar.

Some people eat racoons, but I don't know who they are.

I can plainly see why you'd be confused,

I admit that the order of my phrases was abused.

Next time I will endeavor to do better,

But at the risk of this turning into a letter,

Let me wrap this up, I won't say any more.

Oh boy, it's time for 24:24!

[leftimatic]

24:24 you say? well today is my lucky day

a brand new credit just came my way

here's a little thing that seems funny to me

my cigars appreciate more than my RRSP's

and this is the reason to keep buying for life

I plan to crunch some numbers.... 

and then convince the wife

She has to agree,

It's plain to see

 I'm not joking, crazy nor even slightly off it

but wait........

how do I explain my smoking the profit?