Ken Gargett

tarpon

Recommended Posts

yet another piece by alex ford from the amberjack site.

 

 

Why Tarpon Fishing is a Joke

 

By Alex Ford May 30, 2016

 

Paul Lappin and I left Key West Harbor at 4:40 that morning, setting a course 45 minutes west for the Marquesas. Flat water, warm air, and hot coffee made for an enjoyable ride out. Once we arrived at the flat, we took our positions at opposite ends of the boat.

 

“So did you hear about the clown that humiliated a little boy?” says Paul from the poling platform.

“No, didn’t hear about that one” I say.

“Oh really? It was all over the news. So this little boy goes to the circus. Bourbon and Bailey’s or whatever. He’s having a great time watching the show, all the trapeze stunts, the animals. At intermission, one of the clowns is working the crowd and he comes right up to the little boy… two tarpon rolling 10 o’clock cast now… long, smooth strip…. tick tick tick tick tick… okay so the clown comes right up to the little boy and he says ‘hey you look like a leopard. Are you a leopard?’. And the little boy says ‘no I’m not a leopard’. So the clown says ‘oh, then you must be a giraffe’. ‘No, I’m not a giraffe’ says the little boy.”

I laugh a bit, expecting the punchline.

Big wolf pack coming in at 3 o’clock, let me turn you. Are they daisy chaining? They’re daisy chaining. Cast now! Right in the middle of them! Tick tick tick tick tick, ok pick up! Cast again! Too far! Long slow strip… ok tick tick tick tick tick. Tiny strips. You just want that fly waving in the current – right in front of his face…” 

 

“Okay so the clown says ‘if you’re not a giraffe, you must be an elephant’, and the little boy says ‘no, I’m not an elephant’. ‘Oh’, says the clown, ‘well then you must be a JACKASS!’ and the whole crowd starts laughing at this little boy. So the boy has been deeply traumatized by this event. He sets out on a mission to be the most eloquent and sophisticated man in the world, so no one can ever humiliate him like that clown did again. He studies hard in school, reads every book he can get his hands on. He travels the world and goes to Oxford and Cambridge, studies english and literature and becomes the smartest, most literate man he could possibly be…

Three, no five poon at 9:30. See them? Point your rod. Left, left, no other left. See them? Good. Let me pole you over there. Oh man, look at that big guy. Oh man. I’m not even sure you want to hook him. Ok good now cast. Good! Tick tick tick tick tick, shorter strips shorter strips, tick tick tick tick you’re going too fast!

So the boy gets home from his travels twenty years later, a highly schooled and educated man now, and wouldn’t you know it? The same circus is back in town. So the boy buys a ticket, sits in the same seat and watches the show. Twenty years later and this clown is still working at the circus. He’s fatter and older now, but it’s the same clown. At intermission, he starts working the crowd again. And wouldn’t you know it? He walks up to the boy again and says ‘hey, you look like a lion. Are you a lion?’

 

Poon! Look at them all rolling out there. Hold on let’s pole over. Oh my god there are so many tarpon out here. Ok, now cast in front of that second guy. Wait! Let it sink a bit. Ok now start the baby strips. Remember, you’re jerking off a gerbil. Smaller! Ok good. Come on, eat you bastards! Wait, that one turned – oh! – he’s looking at it  – oh! – eat! eat! Fuck!… Give me that piece of shit fly.”

I swing the fly back to Paul, who ties on a new one.

“So, ‘are you a lion?’ the clown says. ‘No, I’m not a lion’ says the boy. ‘If you’re not a lion, you must be a giraffe’. ‘Nope, not a giraffe’ says the boy. ‘Then you must be a rhinoceros’ says the clown. ‘Nope, not a rhinoceros’. ‘Oh, well if you’re not a rhinoceros, then you must be a JACKASS!’ says the clown, and the whole crowd starts laughing.

So the boy says, ‘*&^%& you clown’… Wanna go fish for permit?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

okay, that showed the pics in the testing bit and they disappeared when i posted. any time you'd like to fix this, rob?

 

image.thumb.png.67cf9ff72a15bbc860ffc268aba595de.png

 

 

 

image.thumb.png.c0849908852193c38ebddf0142e4ddf3.png

 

 

 

image.thumb.png.1865b1e9781a1768fa0d3e9f2e162ab1.png

image.thumb.png.7122ddfadef1f5a638d9ff677939ff2d.png

 

 

 

image.thumb.png.87b0db70dc89dac080722b042a450475.png

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Okay I'll bite, surface skimmers, casting, hooking, fighting but where is the shoe on the end of the line? I know it's a shoe because any self respecting lying fisherman would have a picture of the slimey beast....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There is no better game to chase on fly!

It is my penance in life!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Beautiful giant herring!

IMG_2055_resized.JPG

IMG_2108_resized.JPG

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

IMG_0423.thumb.PNG.f1054883826c6f7a8ecc4d5c51d30235.PNG

Cigars and tarpon!?  I knew I'd love this place.  My son (pictured) and I chase them each year both out of Islamorada and Marco Island.  Good times!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On ‎9‎/‎17‎/‎2018 at 2:57 PM, MikeinKS said:

IMG_0423.thumb.PNG.f1054883826c6f7a8ecc4d5c51d30235.PNG

Cigars and tarpon!?  I knew I'd love this place.  My son (pictured) and I chase them each year both out of Islamorada and Marco Island.  Good times!

where do I sign up?! Looks amazing

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

Community Software by Invision Power Services, Inc.