El Presidente Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Good Article. Add your pick https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/entertainment/movies/what-is-the-worst-movie-remake-of-all-time/news-story/781c0b5c33e6e834ef0d252a0ea49494 WE’RE about to be bombarded with remakes of movies this year — with the reboot of Tomb Raider the first cab off the rank — but they don’t have the best of reputations. For every successful reboot, such as Star Trek or Ocean’s Eleven, there are at least three stinkers. Nicole Kidman has had the misfortune to be in two of them, with The Stepford Wives and The Invasion both panned, despite her best efforts. And then you have the ones like the all-female Ghostbusters, which was hammered online yet was very enjoyable, not least for Chris Hemsworth in a “himbo” role. So what’s the worst remake of all time? Have your say in our poll and make sure you let us know if we’ve missed out some absolute stinkers. ARTHUR The 1981 classic with Dudley Moore and Lisa Minelli, about a super-rich playboy who gives up his money to be with the girl of his dreams was a surprise hit. To not too many people’s surprise, the sequel with Russell Brand was a drunken disaster. Despite a glittering cast, including Helen Mirren as Arthur’s nanny, it flopped dismally. It was less the hilarious, drink-fuelled antics of a monster party and more the vomit-stained clean-up afterwards. Russell Brand was no Dudley Moore in Arthur. GODZILLA We’re talking the latest remake, rather than the many previous remakes. In this one, superb actors like Ken Watanabe and Bryan Cranston tried desperately to save, well, not the world but more the woeful plot. Godzilla took on even more bizarre creatures to save humanity but nothing could save this remake. However, he’ll be back. Amazingly, even this stinker couldn’t kill him off. Audiences were crushed by how bad Godzilla turned out. THE MUMMY Tom Cruise thought he was on to a winner with this remake of the Brendan Fraser franchise. Instead it should have been sealed up in a tomb and never seen again. Cruise may be a couch-jumping nutbag in real life but his movies are almost always entertaining. Not this one. The Mummy was a mother of a mistake. But I thought YOU were going to bring a credible plot ... Tom Cruise in The Mummy. SWEPT AWAY Before they had a bitter divorce that included accusations she banned him from having traditional Christmas sausages called chipolatas in case they gave her cancer or, worse, wrinkles, Madonna and Guy Ritchie revived this movie. Like their marriage, it ended in screams, tears and storming out. Luckily that was just the movie audience in this case. It still holds a coveted Rotten Tomatoes score of five per cent. Statistically, even the “switch off your mobile phone” advert gets a higher score than that. Madonna played a petulant rich bitch in Swept Away. No idea where she got her inspiration. TOTAL RECALL The Arnold Schwarzenegger classic was remade with Colin Farrell in the title role. The special effects were better but everything else was worse. In those days Arnie used to get some serious competition from a plank of wood in the acting stakes but Farrell somehow outdoes him. Forget going to Rekall Inc for your next holiday. Moviegoers needed their memories altered to forget this ever happened. Colin Farrell prepares to have his memory altered. If only audiences could get the same in real life. THE KARATE KID A brilliant way to take a 1980s classic and drop a huge bucket of poo on some golden memories. Never mind he should have been called the Kung Fu Kid because they don’t do karate in China. It managed to be worse in every single way. Watching it was like taking a succession of crane kicks to the head. Jaden Smith as Dre and Jackie Chan as Mr Han. Oh dear. CONAN What is it with Arnie movies and the desire to remake them? Jason Momoa was shaved and sent into action as the muscular hero in this outing. I’m not sure which barbarian approved the remake, the plot or the characterisation but they should be cleaved in half with a giant sword for their efforts. Jason Momoa had the muscles but they forgot to bulk up the plot. ROBOCOP There was so much material here to make another searing indictment on government, policing and the way in which fear is used to manipulate society. Instead it shot itself not just in the foot but pretty much in every body part imaginable. The start, with Samuel L Jackson, offered us hope this was going to be brilliant. It was all downhill form there. Joel Kinnaman is brought back to life by Gary Oldman as Robocop. Nothing could save this remake. THE FANTASTIC FOUR After X Men: First Class revived that flagging franchise, someone had the bright idea to get the Fantastic Four going again, after it petered out into disappointment. The last movie before this one, called Silver Surfer, was a flop with a Rotten Tomatoes rating of just 37 per cent but seemed like an Oscar-winning classic compared to the remake effort’s measly nine per cent approval. Instead of adults such as Chris Evans, Jessica Alba and Ioan Gruffud, they went for a cast of teens. It was like watching a snarky playground clique in action and about as much fun as a chemistry lesson. When grumpy teens go bad. Kate Mara as Sue Storm and Michael B. Jordan as Johnny Storm. Mark Wahlberg and Estella Warren struggle to save Planet Of The Apes. PLANET OF THE APES Unlike some of these other remakes, which were stomach-churningly bad, this was merely OK. It’s let down because the original was so brilliant and the current series (Rise Of/Dawn Of/War For The Planet Of The Apes) so damn good that this sits in the middle like a chunky layer of cat vomit between two delicious biscuits. It has its moments and it sometimes teeters close to being entertaining. But why would you see it when there are so many better options in this franchise? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Gargett Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 the problem with this is that most of them were crap to begin with. so crap remodeled into different crap is still crap. perhaps the key should be the difference between the first and the remake. so arthur and robocop might be the two that sank lowest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MooseAMuffin Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 I think we had a similar thread a while back but my opinion is still the same. The Pink Pather reboots with Steve Martin. Terrible. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
planetary Posted March 9, 2018 Share Posted March 9, 2018 Hey! The new Total Recall was pretty good, I thought. Granted, much of the goodness emanated in waves from Kate Beckinsale... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gweilgi Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 My rule of thumb: any US remake of a foreign original is to be treated with extreme suspicion.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Gargett Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Just now, gweilgi said: My rule of thumb: any US remake of a foreign original is to be treated with extreme suspicion.... i'll give you one where i thought the US did it so much better - true lies. granted it isn't the godfather but i thought it was pretty good fun. way better than the original. and a tv series where i thought the states stepped up - homeland. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scap99 Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 They still keep trying to get Spiderman done right....even cast mumble mouthed Tom Hardy as venom. They might get it one day. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebhead Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 27 minutes ago, gweilgi said: My rule of thumb: any US remake of a foreign original is to be treated with extreme suspicion.... Case in point, Point of No Retun (godawful remake of La Femme Nikita). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayepatz Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Psycho. The Ladykillers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grizzlee Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Death Wish -- Willis vs. Bronson just doesn't get it done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dvickery Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Lost in space Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colt45 Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Don't know for sure about what might be worst, but there's a(nother) reboot of Scarface in the works...... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitchen Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 1 hour ago, ayepatz said: Psycho. The Ladykillers. The remake of Psycho was pretty bad. I've always hated Cruel Intentions for it being such a pathetic attempt at remaking and re-branding Dangerous Liaisons to appeal to teenagers. Although not a movie, Madonna's version of American Pie was one of the worse things to ever be stuck in my head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helix Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Mission impossible 2 probably should have been a comedy . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dealsrme Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 The Total Recall remake was horrendous. They didn’t even get to Mars. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangolf18 Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Dinner For Schmucks (originally Dinner de Cons) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
riderpride Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Never Say Never Again pales in comparison to Thunderball. The bastard child of the Bond franchise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poorman Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Waterworld It was so bad there was no remake. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Engineer99 Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 The remake of Oldboy by Spike Lee was unnecessary and unfortunate. I can't say its the worst, but it's the worst I can think of right now. The original is a classic that can't be touched. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TNT009 Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Being a Horror and Gore fan.... Texas Chainsaw Massacre... Halloween... Carrie... And Psycho! Oh, Horrible mention goes to Clash of the Titans! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SignalJoe Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Originally a TV series but the Will Smith remake of Wild Wild West was absolutely dreadful. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fuzz Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 Clash of the Titans (give me back stop motion animation), The Ring (and basically any US remake of a Japanese horror film), Pride & Prejudice (Keira Knightly version, not the Colin Firth one), Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Ghostbusters, Poseidon, Rollerball, The Wicker Man, Flubber (as much as I like Robin Williams, it just didn't work). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PigFish Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 The Philadelphia Story... I like Grace Kelly but the story cannot be remade (High Society). The Shop Around the Corner. The Good Old Summertime (not)... ... the list goes on! Too bad Hollywood does! Might as well have Justin Bieber sing Stairway to Heaven. -Piggy 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cigcars Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 6 hours ago, dvickery said: Lost in space *The only thing I really dug with this Lost In Space remake (circa 1998) were the ending credits. MAN, what a RUSH!!! Better than the whole movie, IMHO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimm902 Posted March 10, 2018 Share Posted March 10, 2018 5 hours ago, PigFish said: Might as well have Justin Bieber sing Stairway to Heaven. Thats Gold Piggy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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