After 36 years, I found my father

[cmbarton]

I wanted to share a deeply personal but incredibly exciting story that has been unraveling for the last month.  I can’t tell you how Habanos I have smoked while these events have played out.  Two or three a day has been the average, and it has allowed me to decompress and relax as my life has taken several unexpected turns ...

Two weeks ago, after 36 years on Earth and 20 years searching, I found my father and my father’s side of my family.  We’ve spent the last two weeks getting to know each other, catching up on decades of life, and processing the enormity of the revelation of finding long-lost relatives.  

I have never known my father or had any relationship or contact with him.  This means that I also did not know his name, first or last.  This cluelessness was problematic growing up and again when I became a Father myself for the same reason: kids.  I often have had to try, often in vain, to explain (as a child myself and also as a father) how it is possible I don’t know my father or even know his name.  It all made sense to me, even if I didn’t like it, because I had long ago resigned myself to this reality.  But children, especially ones of my own, were relentless in their questioning and search for the truth and so, then, was I.

Fortunately, advancements in DNA analysis, including matching others who have had their DNA analyzed, has led to incredible discoveries in recent years and, especially, in recent months.  Earlier this summer, I was able to separate the genes in my DNA that I inherited from my mother and those that I inherited from my father.  Not only did that enable me to determine that I am of Latvian descent on my father’s side of the family, but it also allowed me to find genetic relatives from my father’s side of the family.  

Less than a month ago, I located three people that I matched with as genetic relatives on my father’s side of the family who are members of the Timlick family in Seattle, Washington.  Two of those people were cousins of mine, and one was my aunt.  My aunt only had one brother, George, and he is my father.  Just being able, for the first time in my life, to say I know who my father is and that I have found my father’s side of my family is an incredible, remarkable feeling.  And if the story ended here, I would be grateful to have found closure.

As much as I prepared for many years for the eventual moment in my life when I found my father, what I didn’t, and probably couldn’t, prepare for is the complete and unconditional way in which I have been welcomed by my father’s family.  I’ve struggled for weeks to explain in words how validating it is that at the end of this journey, I was embraced so warmly by people I have known only days or weeks but regard me as family nonetheless.  Humbling is a word I have used often.

Also, an incredible revelation in itself, I have five more brothers and sisters; they are all younger than me, between 34 and 22 years old.  They are Bethany, Steven, Julie, Sam, and Grace, and they are among the most beautiful people I’ve met in my life.  I couldn’t have imagined or hoped for a better welcome into the family as even my greatest expectations have been exceeded.

I have been blessed beyond measure with a loving and supportive family since the day I was born.  Much of that is thanks to my mother and her strength and support over the years, and especially the last few months, while I searched for my father and my father’s family.  

So now begins the next journey … I have this family, these beautiful family members, and so much to learn about them.  Here’s hoping that this journey takes all the rest of my days.

[THEMISCHMAN]

Great story. Congratulations my friend!

[El Presidente]

I am so happy for you mate 

[MIKA27]

WOW, this is the best news I have read and heard of for ages.

Congratulations, I really wish you all the best. So happy for you. 

[mikeyjb]

Congratulations! A story with a happy ending

[soutso]

Terrific story!

I have not visited this great forum in a long time and just when I do, I stumble on the best post I've ever read. God bless you and your family. It's also nice to see another family in which the women are way hotter than the men lol

[shrink]

A remarkable and heartwarming story. You are blessed.

A patient of mine discovered that the man he had known all his life wasn't his genetic father. Both my patient and the man he had known as father were both shocked by this news. The revelation came via genetic testing, and revealed that his real father was in fact a physician who performed in vitro fertilizations. He had substituted his own sperm for that of the man who was seeking to father a child. He didn't know that he was infertile, and always believed that the child was his own. 

As with you, this discovery has brought about quite an adventure. Like you, he has met brothers, sisters, and other relatives he had never known. In time, he found out that he was a different person than he had always thought. And, fortunately, he has come to cherish his true identity and self. 

So, you are not alone. I hope that your journey takes you on a great and lasting adventure, the greatest adventure of all... the search for who we are. 

[Ken Gargett]

what a wonderful thing. 

[anacostiakat]

Love a happy story.  Congrats! 

[ayepatz]

Congratulations! What a fabulous discovery.?

[Optic101]

Congratulations and thanks for sharing. 

[99call]

Massive credit to you. There are some in this world, that would frame this story as "what they haven't had for so long"  but you show a huge generosity of spirt, and thankfulness.    Lovely story, and it sounds as if it couldn't of happened to a nicer bloke.  Hats off to you sir. Best to you and your new found kin.

[madandana]

Incredible. Love the story.

[rguinn]

Wow, Fantastic story and thank you for sharing! It’s amazing what science can help you accomplish now a days. 

[Adoubles]

Congratulations and awesomeness!!!!

 

[TBird55]

What a joy! Great looking family you have....

[luv2fly]

Great story.  Thank you for sharing!!!

[havanaclub]

Beautiful story. Congrats!!


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[JohnS]

Thank you for sharing this heartwarming story. What I find amazing is the obvious facial features you share with your dad and your siblings. It's incredible how dna and genetics works!

[Squarehead]

Fantastic story.Maybe I should look into the DNA testing too as I didn't know that my father wasn't my father until I was 21 yrs old and my biological father was killed in action in the 2nd world war.My mother(she's still alive at 93 yrs old)would not talk about it.It was not easy for me to accept the fact that I was lied to for such a long time.At the end I was able to forgive but I will not forget.But I must say that it was also a contributing factor that I,my wife and son(now late) immigrated to Canada.What makes it even funnier that I was the black sheep of the family and yet I"m the one who keeps up the contact as I call my parents(so to speak)every couple of weeks.That from a guy who couldn't do anything right and was good for nothing.Cheers to that.

[BrightonCorgi]

6 hours ago, shrink said:

The revelation came via genetic testing, and revealed that his real father was in fact a physician who performed in vitro fertilizations. He had substituted his own sperm for that of the man who was seeking to father a child. He didn't know that he was infertile, and always believed that the child was his own. or who we are. 

That's crazy!

[joeypots]

Wow what a fantastic story. 

[MooseAMuffin]

Amazing story. Happy for you!

[Doctorossi]

Thank you for sharing and congratulations! That is truly awesome.

[canadianbeaver]

Congratulations and hope you two or you sibs enjoy a cigar together perhaps someday. Wonderful!

CB