After 36 years, I found my father


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A very heart-warming story. Congrats to you.

9 hours ago, shrink said:

 The revelation came via genetic testing, and revealed that his real father was in fact a physician who performed in vitro fertilizations. He had substituted his own sperm for that of the man who was seeking to father a child. He didn't know that he was infertile, and always believed that the child was his own. 

 

So the doc ran out of the bottled stuff and used what was on tap?

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I wanted to share a deeply personal but incredibly exciting story that has been unraveling for the last month.  I can’t tell you how Habanos I have smoked while these events have played out.  Two or t

I just met my first newfound sibling, Bethany, who is my oldest sister.  I drove a couple hours to a state park that her, her husband, and their four boys were camping in.  I brought my wife and daugh

A little bit of an update to this story ... last weekend I flew from Dallas to Seattle to meet my father in person for the first time.  We’ve spoken two or three times a week since finding him, but se

Wow man I cannot even begin to express how happy I feel for you. I have never known my real father, he left just after I was born. 1 phone call from far away when I turned 15, a birthday present just after that and a letter when I was doing service as 21 year old.

I wanted to go search for many years but just never took the final step. Now I’m 56 and he is 86 and it’s probably too late. 

Your story just reminds me that you should never ever giver in to not at least trying to find your roots and kin. Congratulations.

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Awesome story!!!  

About 5 years ago my father met his son that he had no idea existed for 42 years.  They lived less than 15 miles apart for all that time.  While he/we/us could never quite make up for that lost time, we are all nearly inseparable now.  Along with his son, he gained a daughter-in-law and 3 awesome granddaughters.  

Congrats again!

 

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13 hours ago, canadianbeaver said:

Congratulations and hope you two or you sibs enjoy a cigar together perhaps someday. Wonderful!

CB

My youngest brother, Sam, was a Marine and loves cigars too.  We’ve smoked while catching up over the phone, and I’m shipping out some of my finest Habanos to him as he’s never had a Cuban before.  I foresee A LOT of cigars in our future!

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12 hours ago, Hookmaker said:

Wow man I cannot even begin to express how happy I feel for you. I have never known my real father, he left just after I was born. 1 phone call from far away when I turned 15, a birthday present just after that and a letter when I was doing service as 21 year old.

I wanted to go search for many years but just never took the final step. Now I’m 56 and he is 86 and it’s probably too late. 

Your story just reminds me that you should never ever giver in to not at least trying to find your roots and kin. Congratulations.

It’s never too late!

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7 hours ago, cmbarton said:

My youngest brother, Sam, was a Marine and loves cigars too.  We’ve smoked while catching up over the phone, and I’m shipping out some of my finest Habanos to him as he’s never had a Cuban before.  I foresee A LOT of cigars in our future!

Fantastic! It has happened so often when I have told relatives I smoke cigars they either plug their nose and say "Eeew that stinks or that is so bad for you" or just "No thanks" and "Would you mind not doing that here?". We just consider it such a gracious and generous offer!

CB

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On 8/27/2018 at 12:19 AM, cmbarton said:

I wanted to share a deeply personal but incredibly exciting story that has been unraveling for the last month.  I can’t tell you how Habanos I have smoked while these events have played out.  Two or three a day has been the average, and it has allowed me to decompress and relax as my life has taken several unexpected turns ...

Two weeks ago, after 36 years on Earth and 20 years searching, I found my father and my father’s side of my family.  We’ve spent the last two weeks getting to know each other, catching up on decades of life, and processing the enormity of the revelation of finding long-lost relatives.  

I have never known my father or had any relationship or contact with him.  This means that I also did not know his name, first or last.  This cluelessness was problematic growing up and again when I became a Father myself for the same reason: kids.  I often have had to try, often in vain, to explain (as a child myself and also as a father) how it is possible I don’t know my father or even know his name.  It all made sense to me, even if I didn’t like it, because I had long ago resigned myself to this reality.  But children, especially ones of my own, were relentless in their questioning and search for the truth and so, then, was I.

Fortunately, advancements in DNA analysis, including matching others who have had their DNA analyzed, has led to incredible discoveries in recent years and, especially, in recent months.  Earlier this summer, I was able to separate the genes in my DNA that I inherited from my mother and those that I inherited from my father.  Not only did that enable me to determine that I am of Latvian descent on my father’s side of the family, but it also allowed me to find genetic relatives from my father’s side of the family.  

Less than a month ago, I located three people that I matched with as genetic relatives on my father’s side of the family who are members of the Timlick family in Seattle, Washington.  Two of those people were cousins of mine, and one was my aunt.  My aunt only had one brother, George, and he is my father.  Just being able, for the first time in my life, to say I know who my father is and that I have found my father’s side of my family is an incredible, remarkable feeling.  And if the story ended here, I would be grateful to have found closure.

As much as I prepared for many years for the eventual moment in my life when I found my father, what I didn’t, and probably couldn’t, prepare for is the complete and unconditional way in which I have been welcomed by my father’s family.  I’ve struggled for weeks to explain in words how validating it is that at the end of this journey, I was embraced so warmly by people I have known only days or weeks but regard me as family nonetheless.  Humbling is a word I have used often.

Also, an incredible revelation in itself, I have five more brothers and sisters; they are all younger than me, between 34 and 22 years old.  They are Bethany, Steven, Julie, Sam, and Grace, and they are among the most beautiful people I’ve met in my life.  I couldn’t have imagined or hoped for a better welcome into the family as even my greatest expectations have been exceeded.

I have been blessed beyond measure with a loving and supportive family since the day I was born.  Much of that is thanks to my mother and her strength and support over the years, and especially the last few months, while I searched for my father and my father’s family.  

So now begins the next journey … I have this family, these beautiful family members, and so much to learn about them.  Here’s hoping that this journey takes all the rest of my days.

 

 

Awesome.. May I ask what DNA service provider you used. I ask because I am considering using such a service. Your story inspired me. Thank you

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2 hours ago, BlueClaw said:

Awesome.. May I ask what DNA service provider you used. I ask because I am considering using such a service. Your story inspired me. Thank you

I used 23andMe and also MyHeritage, which allows you to upload your DNA from 23andMe or Ancestry.  Basically like two DNA matching services for the cost of one.  

I just returned my DNA sample for Ancestry and should get results back soon.  I’m curious how different Ancestry is.  I’ll have three websites to compare then: 23andMe, Ancestry, and MyHeritage.

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1 hour ago, alloy said:

That's just Awesome CM! I'm so glad you found your Father's side. Maybe have them all over for a BBQ!

You know me!  There’s no way I was going to meet long lost family and not make some BBQ for the occasion!  I smoked a brisket for my new sister, Bethany.

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This was seriously one of the best stories I’ve read all year! So amazing that not only  you found your father, but you found an amazing family as well! Please keep us updated, we need more amazing stories like this in the world!

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