Worst Airports?


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LaGuardia: there is an area of LGA if you’re flying United or American that once you get past security there is not a single place to buy an alcoholic beverage. Unfathomable in my mind. 

I've flown twice internationally out of LAX.  We're heading to China in June and my one request to my wife, who made the travel plans, was 'avoid LAX no matter the cost'.       H

LAX immigration for non Americans is what irks.  The yelling at people , the rudeness, the purposeful intimidation. it's just not Border Security/TSA.  last November we were yelled at by a hag di

20 hours ago, Fuzz said:

Damn straight they are rude. A couple of years ago I went to LAX for the first time in 15 years, I politely asked a Border Security/TSA/Airport Cop (whatever you calls those dimwits) just past the exit (I exited at Terminal 7), "Can you please tell me which way to Terminal 1?". The answer I was given? "Not my problem". Nice response to a tourist.

@Fuzz they respond well to calling them Smurfs. Papa Smurf, Grumpy smurf, Resting B#$ch Face smurf, they all work there.

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15 hours ago, ChanceSchmerr said:

My worst:
LGR - Worst ever.  Just a depressing blight on the travel landscape
YHZ - I hate Halifax. The Airport sucks, it's in the middle of nowhere with poor transport links (taxi-union in full force), and they didn't do a proper geo-assessment when they built it on cheap land so it's perpetually fogged in.  
MEX - I'll echo El Prez - An intimidating, terrible airport, with bleak food options and a ghetto atmosphere.  Plus they tried to deny me taking my Hotel Nacional Ashtray in my carry on luggage when I was transiting through - BS!
FRA - Why is every flight I take here on major aircraft never allotted a jetway?  I shouldn't be leaving an Airbus 330 via outdoor staircase.  German efficiency-fail, if you ask me.

My Best:
LHR - I love the Queen's Terminal, and I tend towards Star Alliance Carriers so I typically fly out of there.  The old LHR terminals were rubbish but the new one is great.  Just hate that endless Escalator walk to the other side.
HNL - I like the open-air-ness of this airport, and the services are good.  The Pineapples are ridiculously priced though.
YYZ - I didn't like it at first, but it's grown on me. Fares better in comparison to others in the world.

Oh god HNL. I’m based here and most days it could rival any airport in the third world. We’ve got roof leaks, inop escalators, broken TSA X-ray machines, almost zero AC, potholes on the taxi way, hardly any gates to park aircraft... I could go on.

In the next few months when ANA start flying the White elephant A380 here it may finally break the back of the limited immigration receiving area. Nothing like flying to paradise only having to w@it on the aircraft for space in the customs hall to open up. ???? 

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Agree with those who aren't bothered by ATL. It's huge, but easy to get around. And with Global Entry, I've always had far more time than I've needed to make my connecting fight home.

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1 hour ago, Duxnutz said:

@Fuzz they respond well to calling them Smurfs. Papa Smurf, Grumpy smurf, Resting B#$ch Face smurf, they all work there.

@Duxnutz As I was walking through the carpark to get to the other side, I did ask a cab driver who was leaning up against his taxi. He pretty much told me to eff off, so I let loose a tirade of my own expletives.

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ATL has its issues for sure though great amenities, smoking bars and as a home airport non-stop flights almost amywhere in the world. 

Jose Marti terminal 1 most third world airport ever!

FLL sucks especially if you’re renting a car

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so many.

not perhaps quite what you want but this from an earlier kenfessions - it sums up the Madrid airport. 

 

Part 2 – Super Bock/Upmann Magnum 46

 

When I last left you, it was endless delays, bad airport food, screaming kids and bad nuns.

Not quite so in love with Spain now. And Air Europa would be the greatest stuff-up of an airline ever.

But the nuns, you ask? Seriously, has anyone ever trusted a nun since ‘Blues Brothers’? Long and orderly line to check in at the airport, but it is moving and I have time to spare. Then, up comes a bunch of nuns and cuts straight in. I have no idea what the collective noun for nuns is – a ghoul of nuns? – but why? They were in no rush – I saw them inside hours later – but they still had to shove into the line. Bugger all those not wearing hoods and bling who’ve stood in line. Christ himself should not be cutting the queue, so his brides definitely not. But in they go, big smile. Don’t think that smile absolves you. There’ll be some serious questions when you lot front St Peter. You won’t be waltzing by like it is an airport queue. And pointy end, ladies? Well, why not. Those pesky poor would only spend it on food and shelter.

I check the flight board. Needless to say, a bloke with a screaming child stands next to me. What the hell is it today? My flight has disappeared. Stand in the queue at Air Morons (for those catching up, Air Europa – the Telstra of airlines) with a lot of other unhappy people. Turns out they are flying us on our flight, to Vigo – why the hell it can’t fly to Porto, no one seems to know. We will be about four hours late for take-off, and then they will bus us, three hours, to Porto. I am very polite. Things happen. At least, apparently, we’ll get there.

And bonus, our boarding pass will get us lunch. Back to the same dreadful place (the “burger” from part 1). Seriously? I go for a small yoghurt, a water and a juice. Not really too extreme. The cashier, an old, fat, very unpleasant bloke, yells at me to tell me I am not allowed those things. A coke or water or fanta and a sandwich. Well, hey big spenders. Of course, had anyone bothered to advise me of this before, I would have complied. I point out I have a water. No, he screams, a little water, not a full one.

Enough.

If we are going to use loud voices, I have one too and I intend to share it with anyone within a hundred yards – “if you XVXGVDGD idiots had not KWDHJUKD this up in the first place, I would not be standing here dealing with an imbecile like you and what’s more, you stuff me around for ten hours and want to split hairs over the size of the EFUHEIFH water. You can shove that up your OUIHOGU.”

He goes very quiet and quickly puts through my sandwich and small water. I don’t actually want the sandwich but I am going to take it and open it just for spite.

So lord knows if and when anyone will ever hear from me again. But up until this, it was going well.

Needless to say, there are about four more delays. Finally, a boarding gate. Far end of the airport. The very far end. Anyone who knows Madrid knows that the airport is the size of a city, so off I go. By the time I get there, delayed again. We wait. And wait. Eventually, called. A guy from Brazil is first in line. The machine rejects him and he has to stand to the side. I am next. The machine rejects me, but now they realise they have a problem. So for the next 30 minutes, much hand-waving, machine-gun Spanish, whacking computers. Eventually, they seem to give up and decide to take their chances. The crowd is getting restless. I am sent downstairs to the plane. But it is barricaded and locked. More people follow me to the small area. I feel like cattle at the last stop in the abattoir. Finally, on we go and amazingly, an uneventful flight. To Vigo. Who didn’t have Vigo on their bucketlist?

And the luggage comes out. Get on the bus – manage the back-row middle seat so can stretch out.

But we have another delay. Some people on the bus have just discovered that the luggage fairy did not come and get their luggage and put it on the bus for them. That they actually have to do it themselves. So we wait while they go back to the airport to find their luggage. Finally, we are off.

I swear, I am not making this up.

We go three feet before the first accident. Our driver has backed back into a car.

Ever been to a Spanish car accident? It is a happening! Everyone contributes. Doesn’t matter if you saw it. Everyone has a view. People come from all over. The driver is saying there is no damage. Doesn’t appear to be but not sure I'd be happy with a huge bus ramming my car.

Finally… We cross the border and all going well until the bus breaks down. The driver manages to keep it going but it has lost most of its power. We now have to crawl to Oporto. Special!

A 12 month old child waits till most people are asleep before she starts screaming.

Eventually, we crawl into Oporto. We are, I swear, less than five minutes from the destination when one idiot insists the driver stop at a service station. He can’t wait five minutes? Seriously? The 12 month old managed it but not this moron.

And where does our driver take us? Not to the city, where everyone is going. Way out to the airport. Thanks very much. Naturally, my driver has long gone.

Next morning, down by the Douro, I stop for a beer and a cigar at a riverside café. The girl asks if I will pay now, as I receive my beer. No one else has been asked. I say, as a joke, ‘why, do you think I will run off?’. She is mortified. ‘no’, she says, ‘but my boss does’. On my knee? I can’t help laughing.

The beer, a large Super Bock, was cold and fresh and delicious (though the best thing I have had in Portugal was a bowl of local tripe stew with blood sausage sliced through it, the previous evening). The cigar is an old Upmann Magnum 46 and in glorious form. Whenever anyone comes near his café, I make sure I take a big puff and blow smoke far and wide and they turn and go elsewhere. Thought I'd run off, indeed!

Why was my flight cancelled? I can only assume that the scum who run Air Europa decided that they may as well combine the flights to Oporto and Vigo and save themselves the cost of a flight, less a bus to Portugal. They may be interested to know that the Portugal/Oporto tourism people who’d organised these flights for me were so horrified that they have given their travel people instructions that under no circumstances are they ever to use Air Europa again. So well done, morons. You saved a few bucks but lost at least one major client. Way to run a company!

Now, if you'll excuse me, a full week tasting vintage ports awaits.

 

KBG

 

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2 hours ago, Ken Gargett said:

so many.

not perhaps quite what you want but this from an earlier kenfessions - it sums up the Madrid airport. 

 

Part 2 – Super Bock/Upmann Magnum 46

 

When I last left you, it was endless delays, bad airport food, screaming kids and bad nuns.

Not quite so in love with Spain now. And Air Europa would be the greatest stuff-up of an airline ever.

But the nuns, you ask? Seriously, has anyone ever trusted a nun since ‘Blues Brothers’? Long and orderly line to check in at the airport, but it is moving and I have time to spare. Then, up comes a bunch of nuns and cuts straight in. I have no idea what the collective noun for nuns is – a ghoul of nuns? – but why? They were in no rush – I saw them inside hours later – but they still had to shove into the line. Bugger all those not wearing hoods and bling who’ve stood in line. Christ himself should not be cutting the queue, so his brides definitely not. But in they go, big smile. Don’t think that smile absolves you. There’ll be some serious questions when you lot front St Peter. You won’t be waltzing by like it is an airport queue. And pointy end, ladies? Well, why not. Those pesky poor would only spend it on food and shelter.

I check the flight board. Needless to say, a bloke with a screaming child stands next to me. What the hell is it today? My flight has disappeared. Stand in the queue at Air Morons (for those catching up, Air Europa – the Telstra of airlines) with a lot of other unhappy people. Turns out they are flying us on our flight, to Vigo – why the hell it can’t fly to Porto, no one seems to know. We will be about four hours late for take-off, and then they will bus us, three hours, to Porto. I am very polite. Things happen. At least, apparently, we’ll get there.

And bonus, our boarding pass will get us lunch. Back to the same dreadful place (the “burger” from part 1). Seriously? I go for a small yoghurt, a water and a juice. Not really too extreme. The cashier, an old, fat, very unpleasant bloke, yells at me to tell me I am not allowed those things. A coke or water or fanta and a sandwich. Well, hey big spenders. Of course, had anyone bothered to advise me of this before, I would have complied. I point out I have a water. No, he screams, a little water, not a full one.

Enough.

If we are going to use loud voices, I have one too and I intend to share it with anyone within a hundred yards – “if you XVXGVDGD idiots had not KWDHJUKD this up in the first place, I would not be standing here dealing with an imbecile like you and what’s more, you stuff me around for ten hours and want to split hairs over the size of the EFUHEIFH water. You can shove that up your OUIHOGU.”

He goes very quiet and quickly puts through my sandwich and small water. I don’t actually want the sandwich but I am going to take it and open it just for spite.

So lord knows if and when anyone will ever hear from me again. But up until this, it was going well.

Needless to say, there are about four more delays. Finally, a boarding gate. Far end of the airport. The very far end. Anyone who knows Madrid knows that the airport is the size of a city, so off I go. By the time I get there, delayed again. We wait. And wait. Eventually, called. A guy from Brazil is first in line. The machine rejects him and he has to stand to the side. I am next. The machine rejects me, but now they realise they have a problem. So for the next 30 minutes, much hand-waving, machine-gun Spanish, whacking computers. Eventually, they seem to give up and decide to take their chances. The crowd is getting restless. I am sent downstairs to the plane. But it is barricaded and locked. More people follow me to the small area. I feel like cattle at the last stop in the abattoir. Finally, on we go and amazingly, an uneventful flight. To Vigo. Who didn’t have Vigo on their bucketlist?

And the luggage comes out. Get on the bus – manage the back-row middle seat so can stretch out.

But we have another delay. Some people on the bus have just discovered that the luggage fairy did not come and get their luggage and put it on the bus for them. That they actually have to do it themselves. So we wait while they go back to the airport to find their luggage. Finally, we are off.

I swear, I am not making this up.

We go three feet before the first accident. Our driver has backed back into a car.

Ever been to a Spanish car accident? It is a happening! Everyone contributes. Doesn’t matter if you saw it. Everyone has a view. People come from all over. The driver is saying there is no damage. Doesn’t appear to be but not sure I'd be happy with a huge bus ramming my car.

Finally… We cross the border and all going well until the bus breaks down. The driver manages to keep it going but it has lost most of its power. We now have to crawl to Oporto. Special!

A 12 month old child waits till most people are asleep before she starts screaming.

Eventually, we crawl into Oporto. We are, I swear, less than five minutes from the destination when one idiot insists the driver stop at a service station. He can’t wait five minutes? Seriously? The 12 month old managed it but not this moron.

And where does our driver take us? Not to the city, where everyone is going. Way out to the airport. Thanks very much. Naturally, my driver has long gone.

Next morning, down by the Douro, I stop for a beer and a cigar at a riverside café. The girl asks if I will pay now, as I receive my beer. No one else has been asked. I say, as a joke, ‘why, do you think I will run off?’. She is mortified. ‘no’, she says, ‘but my boss does’. On my knee? I can’t help laughing.

The beer, a large Super Bock, was cold and fresh and delicious (though the best thing I have had in Portugal was a bowl of local tripe stew with blood sausage sliced through it, the previous evening). The cigar is an old Upmann Magnum 46 and in glorious form. Whenever anyone comes near his café, I make sure I take a big puff and blow smoke far and wide and they turn and go elsewhere. Thought I'd run off, indeed!

Why was my flight cancelled? I can only assume that the scum who run Air Europa decided that they may as well combine the flights to Oporto and Vigo and save themselves the cost of a flight, less a bus to Portugal. They may be interested to know that the Portugal/Oporto tourism people who’d organised these flights for me were so horrified that they have given their travel people instructions that under no circumstances are they ever to use Air Europa again. So well done, morons. You saved a few bucks but lost at least one major client. Way to run a company!

Now, if you'll excuse me, a full week tasting vintage ports awaits.

 

KBG

 

:rotfl:Ahhh Ken. I personally love the town of Vigo but never flown through there - I have had the misfortune of Air Europa, though.  As you can agree - never again with that. TAP Portugal is probably my least favorite airline of all time. Have not had one flight so far where were weren't either delayed, jerked around at check in and/or luggage damaged/torn up.  A garbage airline if there ever was one.
I love Super Bock beer though, so there's that! LOL

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2 hours ago, Pommy Puffer said:

I don't fly much these days, but when I was a drunken sailor, it was Dubai International.

Favourite airport was Koh Samui in Thailand.

DXB is actually not bad at all, though I only fly through 2 out of the 3 terminals. I also have "Smart Gate" access so i never have to worry about customs, which is usually pretty quick anyway, considering. 

I've been to some pretty cool international airports, but not nearly as much as some of you lot. Indonesia was not fun because I was bringing in cigars and well....they weren't happy about that. 

Costa Rica has been my favorite, least painful experience thus far. Maybe timing, who knows. Pura vida

Domestic USA? Not a fan of ORD, Atlanta is timing-dependent and I've had both good and terrible experiences there, and Miami I've never liked. Pick Ft. Lauderdale instead

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4 minutes ago, Derboesekoenig said:

DXB is actually not bad at all, though I only fly through 2 out of the 3 terminals. I also have "Smart Gate" access so i never have to worry about customs, which is usually pretty quick anyway, considering. 

I've been to some pretty cool international airports, but not nearly as much as some of you lot. Indonesia was not fun because I was bringing in cigars and well....they weren't happy about that. 

Costa Rica has been my favorite, least painful experience thus far. Maybe timing, who know. Pura vida

Domestic USA? Not a fan of ORD, Atlanta is timing-dependent and I've had both good and terrible experiences there, and Miami I've never liked. Pick Ft. Lauderdale instead

Bless you my son.

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Folks, If you haven't been through any airport in India, you have seen nothing. Endless bureaucracy and stamps on bits of paper. Immigration queues can be long, but staff are quire friendly. Some nice,modern airports, like Hyderabad and Bangalore put US airports to shame.

I fly into US airports regularly, JFK might as well be third world, rude air traffic controllers, with thick Noooo york accents. Then Customs, if your name is Mohammed or similar, its the gloves, even if you have a work visa.... US airports in general,  poor facilities, poor restaurants and bars, lounges. ORD, good grief. Funnily enough, LAX have found OK, the Tom Bradley terminal, modern and well done. The Smurfs at US airports can be ok, or PITA.

DXB, my home airport is vast, but nicely done, lots of things to do, cigars good price when departing. Immigration queues can be long at peak times, but is getting better. 

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Tashkent International was tough. The flight was full of chickens and goats and I thought the plane was going to fall apart upon landing. I cannot remember much of the airport other than it was full of smoke due people smoking despite the abundant multi-national signs prohibiting smoking. I was severely jet-lagged and needed to use the restroom which I decided not a good idea at the time.

I rolled through Bagdad International at the height of the war 03, I think. Flying in was akin to performing a combat landing in a C-130. Nose straight down and pulling up just in time to pound onto the ramp. Nothing like being greeted by airport staff wearing plate carriers and telling you to move quickly while disembarking as incoming rounds do happen. The airport was under re-construction, busy, full of military personnel. I remember blue tarps everywhere. Taking off was just as interesting as landing since they controlled the airspace only around the airport in a given radius we had to get airborne and cut tight circles while gaining altitude. Once out of range of rockets we were free to adjust course and fly to our destination.

All the European airports were very efficient and I never had any issues, London Gatwick was my least favorite only due to the large difference in currencies at the time I think it was 3.5 USD to the pound. I was hungry and didn't want to spent 18.00 for a crappy sandwich.

I have hit most of all the large Eastern US airports at one time or another.

I actually like ATL the international side is good. Since I live in AL I fly through there almost every flight. I can get around well and like the the rail system it can be entertaining. Last November I flew in and breezed through customs although they pulled me to search my bags due to a very large prosciutto ham I had purchased in Schiphol created a large mass on the xray machine. The TSA attendant and I got a good laugh out of it but that was my only problem. They didn't bat an eye at the Habanos I purchased.

Boston I think was the worst. The last few times was completely confusing/ crazy. Construction had areas completely closed so you had to go outside get on a bus that drove towards I95 back down to the terminal. The first time I thought I was on the wrong bus and was heading into Boston proper. It was a long time ago and since I had always insisted I never traveled through there.

Dulles was terrible in the winter I avoided it because they couldn't deal with the snow. Flights always were cancelled or delayed for something. If I was flying back to the States in the winter I always chose a northern airport like Chicago, Minneapolis/St. Paul, or Detroit to connect through. Baltimore was ok.

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US worst Airports

  1. EWR Newark. Might be the unfriendliest place I have been through. Sprinkled with incompetence. Throw in Customs on an overseas return and it becomes Misérables.
  2. LGA NY. A strong second

International Worst Airports

  1. FPO Gran Bahama International. This was a clown show. Cancelled flights, oversold, terrible customer service.  Just get me out of here.
  2. EBB Entebbe International. An unplanned decent from Nairobi to de-plane and fumigate? It was 100F+ and 100% Humidity. And knowing the history there did not help. To be fair to the BA staff in the airport who were extremely kind we were only there for 2 hours, and then on to London. The Guinness in Heathrow is quite nice.

 

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On 4/3/2019 at 3:58 PM, tigger said:

I feel fortunate that my "Home" airport, PVD, is small and very easy to navigate.

I grew up in RI and did my primary flight training at PVD.  It's a great/well-run airport. 

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On 4/4/2019 at 2:40 PM, shippers said:

(unless Havana Club and crisps counts as subsistence)

Of course they count as subsistence!  That's practically Fine Dining!  Quit yer whining! :P 

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When I read some of these gripes I wonder if they are legitimate.

I travel a lot for business and pleasure. American airports are a joke, but they still aren’t the worst.  You sort of have to laugh at some of the 1st world complaints.

Sadly, Havana gets my vote for various reasons.

Best for me: Singapore.

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1 hour ago, cookj1 said:

When I read some of these gripes I wonder if they are legitimate.

I travel a lot for business and pleasure. American airports are a joke, but they still aren’t the worst.  You sort of have to laugh at some of the 1st world complaints.

Sadly, Havana gets my vote for various reasons.

Best for me: Singapore.

I think you have to split the rankings into some sort of classification for it to make sense.  Big International Airports, Regionals, and, what would you call the third category?  'Adventure Airports?" :P   Big American international airports are pretty bad, but mostly when compared to their foreign counterparts.

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On 4/4/2019 at 2:08 AM, Duxnutz said:

In the States, I like Portland, Detroit (DTW), Vegas, Long Beach and Seattle. Internationally, I absolutely hate Sydney, security are rude and a right royal pain in the butt. Japanese airports are largely a pleasure if a long walk between gates.

Agreed on Portland and Seattle as well as Long Beach. I will fly out of Long Beach as much as possible even though I live in Playa del Rey (adjacent to LAX and a short Lyft/Uber ride) since it is such a nicer experience and much quicker in and out. Well worth it to avoid the LAX headaches. Had to drop the brother in law off at LAX tonight. Departures was so backed up getting into the airport for the red eyes heading out that thankfully I know enough to bypass the main entries and enter on the main bottom arrivals level and have him take the stairs up to the departure area. Still took me 30 minutes to get in and out.

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I have had many a terrible experience at Atlanta airport.  Terminals have booths trying to get people to sign up for credit card offers.  Saw a worker flag down a struggling elderly lady with "mam! Oh there you are!  We have been looking for you, please come this way I need you to fill this out before your flight".  Still feel sick for not intervening.

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On ‎4‎/‎3‎/‎2019 at 7:06 PM, pedro849 said:

I would say Atlanta. But after a friend sent me this pic from its Duty Free....I like it again
fca66341303ebada6942aaf5d02b1117.jpg


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

That's more Blanton's than I've seen in quite a while.

 

My vote Tegucigalpa airport in Honduras.  Horribly cramped, hoards of unofficial "helpers" looking for tips and the Priority lounge sucked and was small, plus it is in the top 5 for dangerous landings.

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