bugman78629 Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squarehead Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 Unemployment application: Job description:Burglar Reason for lay off: Everybody is at home 2 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Squiggler Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 decided to whip one up for yucks: 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Squiggler Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 sorry folks, apparently Tito's won't kill/cure Coronavirus, even if you drink 50% more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post joeypots Posted April 1, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 1, 2020 UK Virus ALERT The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent virus threat and have therefore raised their threat level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon, though, the level may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. The virus has been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let's Get the Bastard.” They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.” The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose.” Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Australia, meanwhile, has raised its alert level from “No worries” to “She'll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is cancelled.” So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level. The Russians have said “It's not us” 3 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zigatoh Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 1 hour ago, The Squiggler said: sorry folks, apparently Tito's won't kill/cure Coronavirus, even if you drink 50% more Drinking it won't help but turns out 30%+ will do it externally - https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.techtimes.com/amp/articles/248178/20200319/seriously-whisky-kill-coronavirus-hear-experts.htm Sorry, back to the funnys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bugman78629 Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Ken Gargett Posted April 1, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 1, 2020 Apparently, Prince Charles is at Balmoral Palace, isolated with Covid-19. Meanwhile, Prince Andrew is at Winsor Castle, isolated with Jennifer-14. 2 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Gargett Posted April 1, 2020 Share Posted April 1, 2020 acbad782-a658-4af3-be80-d12003eff106.mov 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post TBird55 Posted April 2, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 2, 2020 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitchen Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianbeaver Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 Town news: Call the police because folks touch the railing on the bridge when they watch salmon jump up the river. While they are at it on that call, a teenager jumped over the fence to go skateboarding. We cannot have such criminal behaviour in Our town dammit! The end. ?? CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nKostyan Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 «The Cuban authorities seriously thought about renaming the cigar factory La Corona because of unpleasant associations» Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
canadianbeaver Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chas.Alpha Posted April 2, 2020 Share Posted April 2, 2020 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Gargett Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 this was ... unexpected. and made me giggle. de2e7eac-db8e-43bc-afc7-23a2b57b92ea.MP4 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarriorPrincess Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 40 minutes ago, Ken Gargett said: this was ... unexpected. and made me giggle. de2e7eac-db8e-43bc-afc7-23a2b57b92ea.MP4 8.07 MB · 0 downloads That is so funny Ken had a giggle to Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homer Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post THEMISCHMAN Posted April 3, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 3, 2020 4 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post canadianbeaver Posted April 3, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 3, 2020 Drew this today on my iPad. Enjoy. ? CB 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Joeyjojo Posted April 3, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 3, 2020 4 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Orangeman004 Posted April 3, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted April 3, 2020 4 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Habana Mike Posted April 3, 2020 Share Posted April 3, 2020 1 hour ago, Orangeman004 said: Stealing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lomey Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 Sent from my SM-N960U using Tapatalk 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBird55 Posted April 5, 2020 Share Posted April 5, 2020 Are my testicles black?  A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very, closely: "Are - my - test - results - back?" 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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