You know you're a father

[BoliDan]

I want to prelude this with I am a damn sailor mouthed person. My literature professor actually told me that the words I use have their place in literature, but with much less frequency and much more purpose. I disagreed and kept the vulgarity on the pages as if I just learned the words yesterday 

Just now, I was looking for phone for over 20 minutes. The kicker is I know where I dropped it. I disassembled my entire computer and moved the desk to find it... no good. all bad.

We all know that black hole, in your car, where if it is dropped anywhere near you console or driver seat, it is gone forever.

After lifting everything around me and still not finding it, I let out an involuntary anger response, which was... "WHAT THE BUCKETS:. yeah, i said buckets.... BUCKETS!

Who the hell says buckets instead of the intentional word? dads of 2 year olds, that's who. Buckets you.

[Connoisseur Kim]

I also created new vulgar language "Eat my donkey d!#k" for fun after seeing this post @BoliDan. That's really hillarious post buddy ?!

Similar example might be: Holy sheet! ?

[BuzzArd]

You have to. Otherwise it’s just the volume that’s a problem....

 

[El Hoze]

I have an son who will be two in December. His speech is coming along great, will put a few words together, etc. We’re raising him bilingual (English/Spanish) as my wife is Dominican. Certain words he’ll pick up the first time he hears it (beer being one) others you can repeat to him constantly and nothing. I don’t curse very much, but the other day I said the F word while trying to install a water filter and he smiled and repeated it back with perfect pronunciation about 10 times. My wife will use the word “coño” basically the equivalent of the F word, he picked that up immediately too. 

[Riverstyx]

I have a 2yr old girl.  We learned the hard way after my wife stubbed her toe.

My father-in-law always says "holy sugar" around all of his grandkids.  He says ssssuugar very slowly.  Except that time he was surprised to open his christmas present: a dirty harry .44 cal.  He said it just as slowly and deliberately in front of all the kids.  I think everyone felt it was appropriate.

[Subcomandante]

I still curse like a sailor. My 4 year old daughter said “fook man” when my fiancé was telling her to get off the iPad and come to bed. It’s cute because their is no school right now. But I told her not to say that again and laughed as soon as she left the room. 
#1 Dad. 

[Elgallo55]

17 hours ago, El Hoze said:

I have an son who will be two in December. His speech is coming along great, will put a few words together, etc. We’re raising him bilingual (English/Spanish) as my wife is Dominican. Certain words he’ll pick up the first time he hears it (beer being one) others you can repeat to him constantly and nothing. I don’t curse very much, but the other day I said the F word while trying to install a water filter and he smiled and repeated it back with perfect pronunciation about 10 times. My wife will use the word “coño” basically the equivalent of the F word, he picked that up immediately too. 

To Dominicans like myself, we use the word "coño" or "coñaso" soo much that we dont see it as a cursed word, or come to think about it, thats what we try to convince ourselves and other people. ?? 

[MrBirdman]

7 hours ago, Elgallo55 said:

To Dominicans like myself, we use the word "coño" or "coñaso" soo much that we dont see it as a cursed word, or come to think about it, thats what we try to convince ourselves and other people. ?? 

I was a middle school teacher in the Bronx a couple years back and clearly my students’ parents didn’t think of it as a curse either ?

Thats also where I got the name I’ve used for my handle.