How medically intune are you?

[El Presidente]

How medically intune are you?

Have a crack at the poll. As I tap this out I am off for a 3 1/2 yearly colonoscomy. It was during my last one that they noticed my heart arrythmia and that probably saved my life. Most of my close mates are approaching 50 or not too far past 60 and I am amazed how few of them get regular checkups let alone specialist testing (bowel/prostate etal). I raise it on occassion during a Friday afternoon deck session and the mere thought of getting a checkup turns these most ocker of blokes absolutely pale. 

Catch you later in the day.  Book yourself a regular checkup tomorrow as I can tell you from personal experience, it may save you a lot of pain down the line.  

[SpecialK]

Had my Colonoscomy 4 weeks back... way too much fun...the worst part of course is the night before "the night of a 1000 waterfalls"

[Bri Fi]

I have a vasectomy scheduled for next month. Does that count? 

[Chibearsv]

I never went to the doctor until I was 45 unless I had an injury that required a doctor.  Now I go every year and don't really mind it at all.  I recommend 45 as a good starting point for an annual visit unless you feel like you've got obvious issues.  My doctor is a good guy and makes the visit simple.  He'll ask me to stop smoking cigars and I'll say no and then we'll get on with the rest of the poking and prodding.  My consumption has gone up a lot so I'm curious if that will show up somehow in the tests.  Shingles vaccine will be on the menu this time for sure - thanks to Ken's accounts of his experiences.  😬

[99call]

Around 2012 I had to go through a full check for a job.  I felt great after, I was on top of dental etc etc and my mind was worry free

About 6mths before the pandemic, I had a brief window of time off work where I wanted a to do a full 'check up at 40'.  They basically gave me a blood test and told me to f-off.   

For as much talk that goes on about trying to get blokes to visit the doctor more, I found it really depressing that someone looks at the computer monitor, see's you haven't seen a doctor in a decade, and they tries to kick you out the door before you even open your mouth,  let alone any other orifice!.    

[Meesterjojo]

1 hour ago, SpecialK said:

Had my Colonoscomy 4 weeks back... way too much fun...the worst part of course is the night before "the night of a 1000 waterfalls"

I shit in a box rather than have them play peekaboo. Company called cologuard. Poop in box. Mail it back prepaid. Results in a week.

[westg]

Colonoscopy hey...no doubt you are shaking with excitement rather than fear 😎🌴

[rckymtn22]

About to go through my 3rd colonoscopy Monday not looking forward to drinking the foul tasting liquid but has to be done. During my last colonoscopy I remember bit and pieces of the live feed. LOL  I was one of those guys who hadn't  had a doctor in a long time and ignored the signs for too long. I was discovered with colon cancer early in 2017, I lucked out that it wasn't an aggressive cancer otherwise someone else would be enjoying my cigar collection right now. So everyone get regular checkups!

[Chibearsv]

45 minutes ago, Meesterjojo said:

I shit in a box rather than have them play peekaboo. Company called cologuard. Poop in box. Mail it back prepaid. Results in a week.

The box doesn’t remove polyps though.  My daughter works for them. They are developing more accurate rapid COVID tests as well.  Good company. 

[Fuzz]

2 hours ago, Bri Fi said:

I have a vasectomy scheduled for next month. Does that count? 

Make sure you get a good doctor....

 

[Bri Fi]

@Fuzz don’t scare me more than I already am 

[stogieluver]

See a Dr regularly.
I’m 66. My PSA # started rising a few years ago. Had regular prostate exams which seemed to indicate no problem, but that PSA # spiked and worried my Dr.  He referred me to a Urologist who recommended a biopsy. I was shocked they found cancer. Scheduled surgery for this past July. Had the prostate removed and have recovered nicely. So happy to have that cancer out of me before it spread. Caught it early, thank God. 
GET REGULAR CHECKUPS AND DON’T LET FEAR KEEP YOU FROM DOING IT. 

[PigFish]

5 minutes ago, stogieluver said:

See a Dr regularly.
I’m 66. My PSA # started rising a few years ago. Had regular prostate exams which seemed to indicate no problem, but that PSA # spiked and worried my Dr.  He referred me to a Urologist who recommended a biopsy. I was shocked they found cancer. Scheduled surgery for this past July. Had the prostate removed and have recovered nicely. So happy to have that cancer out of me before it spread. Caught it early, thank God. 
GET REGULAR CHECKUPS AND DON’T LET FEAR KEEP YOU FROM DOING IT. 

This is sound advice. I never really went to the doctor unless I broke something. Now I have pretty much a revolving door.

Medicine has prolonged my life. I near checked out in ‘08 so maintenance  for me is a must. My cardiologist likes to talk cigars with me and other things. He keeps the pump going and as long as the joints last, I can continue to come here annoy the rest of you…

Bagging on doctors, healthcare and pharma is pretty easy. No system is perfect. Without ‘em, and this little Piggy went to heaven. Without this system, and the dedicated people who work long hours to bring it to the rest of us, I would be worm food.

Get to know and like your doctor. Then get it taken care of. 

Cheers! Piggy

[El Presidente]

3 hours ago, 99call said:

 

For as much talk that goes on about trying to get blokes to visit the doctor more, I found it really depressing that someone looks at the computer monitor, see's you haven't seen a doctor in a decade, and they tries to kick you out the door before you even open your mouth,  let alone any other orifice!.    

You need to shop around for a doc and that also goes for specialists.

I have been lucky with docs. I have two I trust and who are detailed and empathetic. 

With specialists I have  great cardiologist but I sacked two electrophysiologists before I found one I liked. The first of those sat me down, kept writing away and said I had a 50% chance of making 5 years. He was a twat. F you. 

 

 

 

 

[dobbs]

3 hours ago, 99call said:

For as much talk that goes on about trying to get blokes to visit the doctor more, I found it really depressing that someone looks at the computer monitor, see's you haven't seen a doctor in a decade, and they tries to kick you out the door before you even open your mouth,  let alone any other orifice!.   

yeah, this was my experience getting a checkup at 40. the doc was rushed, minimized my concerns, and then said "see you in 5 years". i guess i'm fine??? 

35 minutes ago, El Presidente said:

I sacked two electrophysiologists before I found one I liked. The first of those sat me down, kept writing away and said I had a 50% chance of making 5 years. He was a twat. F you. 

i am alive because of modern medicine, but under no illusions. most doctors are arrogant and uninterested in anyone's opinion other than their own. wouldn't you love to work in a system with a huge support system designed to ensure your success? nurses, clerks, janitors, techs, orderlies, all there for you. probably hard not to get high on your own stink in that environment.

-dobbs

[Fosgate]

I've been getting an checkup about every 3-6 months and annual physical since I hit 35. Caught a lot of stuff that wound up being not a big deal because they caught it early. I had a really good doctor up until April when she retired. Smart as a whip with early diagnosis on several occasions. I have yet to get a new GP but next year I turn 50 to get the anal probe prize. I remember my father getting his and he was just weird showing off the photos of the inside of his colon.

In the spirit of the colon I'd like to share a story by Dave Barry

ABOUT THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald.
 

*Colonoscopy Journal:*

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment for a colonoscopy. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis .

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner. I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'

I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies..

I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.

Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.

Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep. You mix two packets of powder together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water. (For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons). Then you have to drink the whole jug. This takes about an hour, because MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.

The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel movement may result.' This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may experience contact with the ground.

MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but, have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch? This is pretty much the MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you wish the commode had a seat belt. You spend several hours pretty much confined to the bathroom, spurting violently. You eliminate everything. And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.

After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.

The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous. Not only was I worried abo ut the procedure, but I had been experiencing occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage. I was thinking, 'What if I spurt on Andy?' How do you apologize to a friend for something like that? Flowers would not be enough.

At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on, makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked..

Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand. Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already lying down. Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their MoviPrep. At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the bathroom, so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode. You would have no choice but to burn your house.

When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist. I did not see the 17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere. I was seriously nervous at this point. Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began hooking something up to the needle in my hand.

There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was 'Dancing Queen' by ABBA. I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to be the least appropriate. 'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me. 'Ha ha,' I said. And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for more than a decade. If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.

I have no idea. Really. I slept through it. One moment, ABBA was yelling 'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood. Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt. I felt excellent. I felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that my colon had passed with flying colors.

I have never been prouder of an internal organ.

On the subject of Colonoscopies... Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:

1. Take it easy Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before.

2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'

3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'

4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'

5. 'You know in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'

6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'

7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'

8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'

9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'

10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'

11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'

12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'

_And the best one of all:_

13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

 

[Fuzz]

Whilst those comments are amusing, you normally wouldn't be awake to give them if it was a colonoscopy, as they are usually done under a general anaesthetic. Most proctologists don't want you awake when they bring out the camera....

A sigmoidoscopy, however, is usually done while you are awake. That procedure only looks at the lower part of the colon, and requires far less prep.

[B44]

Glad you’re in good health, Rob! Take it super easy. No Mexican food for atleast 24 hours.  

[99call]

5 hours ago, El Presidente said:

You need to shop around for a doc and that also goes for specialists.

I have been lucky with docs. I have two I trust and who are detailed and empathetic. 

With specialists I have  great cardiologist but I sacked two electrophysiologists before I found one I liked. The first of those sat me down, kept writing away and said I had a 50% chance of making 5 years. He was a twat. F you. 

I'm glad you showed such gusto Rob.  

Slightly different scenario here with the NHS, it was brilliant when I was a kid, but it is currently being purposefully hamstrung and suffercated by the government.  If feels odd to pay your taxes for a wonderful service, but then your own government is applying so much pressure to local GP's that they system starts to fail,..........then they go "see It's a failure!  thats why we need private healthcare".

I know heath shouldn't be political, and it would be stupid to personally suffer because of a principle,  but it does make things complicated.   Here in the UK a know lots of people who use private doctors as the initial consultation, then they take that analysis back to the NHS and go "here's whats wrong with me, I want you to sort it"

Nothing can be a more damning about whats going on with our health service than the New Zealand NHS Nurse who sat by the PM's death bed giving him round the clock care through corona virus, has since left her job due to "the lack of respect" and resource given by the government. 

I have another break coming up in Jan, so this time I'm not taking no for an answer, by hook or by crook i'm going to get a thorough fondling

 

1 hour ago, Fuzz said:

A sigmoidoscopy

'Ribbed for your pleasure!'     I'm not sure if this joke works in Aussie, but it used to be a sales line in the UK for condoms

[joeypots]

   When I got married, almost 30 years ago, I got on my wife's health insurance plan. I've had regular visits with a GP ever since. Long history of prostate disease and skin cancer in my family so I have annual screenings. The dermatologist is my least favorite visit. Too often there is a tiny little thing that she hacks off and every once in a while there is a littler tiny thing that requires the services of a general surgeon. Despite the size of the incisions there is very little discomfort and I count myself lucky to be able to get good care.

   On the prostate subject, suffice it to say that I have seen the worst of it.  What ever indignities I must suffer in order to catch it as early as possible I'll gladly take. 

[Corylax18]

Ive struggled mightily to engage with our $$$$$$ based health care system here in the states, a visit to the doctor feels about the same as a visit to a seedy used car lot these days. My family moved roughly half way across the country when I was 12, before that my grandfather was my dentist and his best friend/hunting buddy was my doctor. I trusted both unshakingly and both where spectacular people and doctors. I didnt have any serious ailments when I was a kid, but they both helped me through the standard broken bones/teeth, stitches, etc.

Fast forward to my new "Doctor" in CO and the change was astounding. The new GP was about 30 years younger than my grandfather and instantly had me and one of my brothers on medications, after literally the first visit with him. Maybe 15 minutes of actual interaction was all it took for him to put me on the highest possible dose of an very strong "anti anxiety" medicine. I was 13 and had just moved across the country before starting middle school, of course I was anxious. That shit set me back several years, it took me almost 18 months to slowly ween off it without side affects. It was medical malpractice at worse, complete incompetence at best. 

I caught a nasty stomach bug in Cuba a couple years ago, bad. I steadily lost weight for the last 8 days of the trip(hiking pico turquino probably didn't help). I also got the regular old flu at some point during my transit home from Cuba. I had one day of feeling normal when I got home, then the normal flu hit. By the time I shook that about 10 days later I was down to 143 pounds(I'm 6'-3") I usually walk around between 175-180. I didnt even think about going to the doctor for 1 second, during that entire ordeal. They'll either wheel me in, or I'm not going. I wish I could maintain myself like I do my cars. Haha

I'm sure there are good doctors out there, I used to know a few, but I have not had any luck in finding them myself. Granted, the bar was set very high by the level of care I received when I was young, but we should still be able to get that. Now that Big Business (Pharma and Insurance) have bribed our government into forcing a "treatment based" (not solution based) system on us its just a steady slide down hill. Worsening outcomes, higher costs, fewer choices. No thanks. 

[Fuzz]

19 hours ago, 99call said:

'Ribbed for your pleasure!'     I'm not sure if this joke works in Aussie, but it used to be a sales line in the UK for condoms

Isn't it supposed to be, "Ribbed for her pleasure"? Or are you like this?.....

 

[Corylax18]

3 minutes ago, Fuzz said:

Isn't it supposed to be, "Ribbed for her pleasure"? Or are you like this?.....

Haha. I was about to say; Its all about how you put it on!

[99call]

47 minutes ago, Fuzz said:

Isn't it supposed to be, "Ribbed for her pleasure"? Or are you like this?.....

It's seems i've always remembered it wrong,  like a collective 'your'.    but now I know the inside out trick......it's a whole different world. 

[SpecialK]

10 hours ago, Fuzz said:

Whilst those comments are amusing, you normally wouldn't be awake to give them if it was a colonoscopy, as they are usually done under a general anaesthetic. Most proctologists don't want you awake when they bring out the camera....

A sigmoidoscopy, however, is usually done while you are awake. That procedure only looks at the lower part of the colon, and requires far less prep.

 Stuff nightmares are made of 😮