Why I never fly sober


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I love to throw back a drink or several on just about any occasion whatsoever, but I almost never drink when I fly. Hits me the wrong way for some reason and makes me feel like crap. Don't worry about me though, I make up for lost time as soon as I land. 

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I recommend bringing a ziplock full of Baileys and Jameson mini bottles through security and hitting the coffee stand near the gate, and then post up somewhere to mix a hot one. Feel free to carry your Irish coffee on board, lid on. If you time it correctly you finish it as soon as beverage service starts.

@patrickamory, United is serving on domestic coach flights once again.

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I believe it is always happy hour when you're traveling. Martini in the club preflight. Pop a bloody or mimosa before leaving the gate.

A couple glasses of red in the air.

Doesn't matter the time of day. Time is irrelevant when traveling....

Just avoid the wheelchair exit if you can.

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My reward status allows me to be in first most any flight.  I stick to beer, and I usually have many.  Usually it’s the flight attendants that are the pushers and not me requesting.  Still by flights end I’m usually feeling pretty warm and nice.  The only drawback to drinking large quantities of beer on the flight is, for me, I end up having to take a piss 4+ times on a 3 hour flight.  And inevitably once we begin descending I’ll have to go.  Which means by time we circle, lineup, land, taxi to the gate and finally deplane, I’m about to explode.  

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      **Considering how L-O-O-O-N-G the flight from the United States to Australia is, that might be the suggested way to go. As one stand-up comic said, "There are planets in our solar system closer to us than Australia!"

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I have a bunch of club accesses so I'll show up to the airport 2 or 3 hours early just so I can hit them.  Get food and several drinks(had 9 at SFO centurion lounge couple weeks ago) and then proceed to pass out on my flight to wherever I'm going.  For the most part, I don't remember take off and usually am woken up by the plane landing.  Works out well since I usually have a uncomfortable seat in economy....

If I knew the wheelchair was an option, I'd let them take me from my plane seat to the baggage carousel!

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You’re preaching to the choir brother. Dana, Hanna and I just popped out to San Diego for a few days in the sun. Introduced Hanna to pre breakfast drinking in the Delta lounge and loaded her up with free drinks vouchers for the flight. 
 

I got to try this Old fashion in a can. It was awesome.

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For those of you who subscribe to this plan....do you typically do so for nonstop flights only?  My worst flying nightmare was flying home from China in 2019.  37 hours in four legs where the first leg was delayed by five hours causing a domino effect on the remaining legs.  I couldn't imagine trying to keep a buzz for a marathon like that.  

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1 hour ago, Cletus said:

For those of you who subscribe to this plan....do you typically do so for nonstop flights only?  My worst flying nightmare was flying home from China in 2019.  37 hours in four legs where the first leg was delayed by five hours causing a domino effect on the remaining legs.  I couldn't imagine trying to keep a buzz for a marathon like that.  

I keep a few Xanax in the pocket. In those cases, it's hard to adjust the time of the alcohol consumption. Get yourself a Xanax prescription and use it JUST for flights. Know the risks of such products and use them only when needed.

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3 hours ago, Cletus said:

For those of you who subscribe to this plan....do you typically do so for nonstop flights only?  My worst flying nightmare was flying home from China in 2019.  37 hours in four legs where the first leg was delayed by five hours causing a domino effect on the remaining legs.  I couldn't imagine trying to keep a buzz for a marathon like that.  

That's exactly when you need to keep the bender rolling!

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11 hours ago, Cletus said:

For those of you who subscribe to this plan....do you typically do so for nonstop flights only?  My worst flying nightmare was flying home from China in 2019.  37 hours in four legs where the first leg was delayed by five hours causing a domino effect on the remaining legs.  I couldn't imagine trying to keep a buzz for a marathon like that.  

Just reading that made my legs ache

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A long time ago I had a much older colleague with a mentality from a bygone era. He was a functioning alcoholic with a huge amount of charm and chutzpah. Loved doing business behind the iron curtain, always had a bottle of whiskey in his briefcase etc etc.

We were on a flight to somewhere together and the stewardess wheeled her trolley down the aisle, doing her thing, and when she got to us she offered us a drink. John looked at her like she was stark raving mad and shouted at her “Don’t be ridiculous! I make it a personal rule never to have a drink before 7am Bombay time!!!”

Which clearly makes no sense whatsoever.

Sadly he went mad as a box of frogs. He liked parrots and ended up with 47 of them. He was also greatly saddened by the human suffering caused by the Balkans conflict and took in about 20 refugees to live with him (well, in his garden shed). What with all the parrots repeating everything he said and the refugees queuing up to use his shower every morning, it all got a little much for him.

I ought to raise a glass to toast him, but first I should check what time it is in India…


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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