Thursday.....a day in the life of a cigar retailer.

[El Presidente]

Thursday…….a day in the life of a cigar retailer.

My mobile rings on the bed side table next to me…..I crack open an eye and see 7:20am on the alarm clock. Four hours 20 minutes sleep is not quite enough so I ignore the call. The mobile rings again a minute later.

“Damn….It will be Lisa telling me that in my state I left Czar House unlocked and the only thing remaining is the empty wine bottles from last nights function”

Hello?

“Its Cathy from Hervey’s Café Rob! I am just ringing to let you know your Long Black is getting cold”

I hear laughter in the background. The sensible local FOH crew who did not write themselves off… has put her up to it.

“I hate you Cath”

“I love you Rob”

I can hear my family milling around and my wife whispering “keep it down, dads not well”. I know if I can make it to a shower and a toothbrush then I can be out of here in a half hour and sleep on the couch in my office.

Showered and dressed I face the family while putting on what I considered to be a great act of bravado. My wife sees right through me. The kids know something is up as I am never home at this time. I go to the medicine cabinet for two Paracetamol. My seven year old Tom says “ I had the same thing on Tuesday dad”. God bless him but I seriously doubt it.

Called a cab and thought it best to walk in the glorious morning sunshine the 250 meters to the front gate. By the 100m mark it was akin to a desert French Foreign Legion march. The cab is late, I am frying, need water.

Cab finally shows and I pray to god it was not the Jamaican Cab driver. It is.

I arrived at work asleep in the front seat. God does have mercy. I did a quick inspection of the damage from last nights function as Lisa gave me a run down.

“Rob….did you try to lift the projector screen last night?”

“ No” (Rule 1: Deny Deny Deny)

Actually I did try to lift it while looking like a fully furled Viking Sail at 2am. I don’t know what happened but needless to say a little damage ensued.

All in all pretty good. Lise and Diana had washed all the glassware and I spent the next hour putting gear away for the next event. It was near enough 11am before I sat down on the deck to check e-mails. Thought twice but lit a Partagas D 4

Ross sends me three e-mails so I thought something may be important:

E-mail 1. Hey, you sent me light colorado cigars when I specifically asked for dark claro - what gives?

E-mail 2. Hey, my cigars don't draw properly - what gives?

E-mail 3. Hey, my cigars don't taste right - what gives?

Nothing like good mates who take the piss out of you.

I responded:

“I do appreciate you taking the time to give multiple feedback as to our service.

It is clients such as yourself who make us realize how far we have yet to go to achieve the benchmarks of client service we seek.

I feel distraught that we may have let you down yet I will try to address each of your questions.

Hey, you sent me light colorado cigars when I specifically asked

for dark claro - what gives?

May I suggest that you dim the lights in the room. The darker the room…the darker the cigars.

Hey, my cigars don't draw properly - what gives?

My experience is that the draw of a cigar improves dramatically by cutting the cap. Try it.

Hey, my cigars don't taste right - what gives?

You obviously have a well seasoned palate. Give the cigars an opportunity to develop to the style you prefer. Cigars evolve as they age and take on the characteristics preferred by their owner. Let them rest 3-5 years and e-mail me back with your thoughts.

Finally, for your future reference, I normally handle all fawning and congratulatory e-mails. For issues and problems that concern you, e-mail [email protected]

Thank you again for your enlightening feedback.

Best regards

Rob Ayala”

That gave me a laugh. Need some grease and Lisa arranged a hamburger, potato scallops and chips. No sooner than they arrived…… Ken Gargett turned up. I was planning on giving him grief but his opening statement was that he was here to pay an account. ……”Come in Mr Gargett!!!”

Ken gone I posted my Wednesday a day in the life series. This series is proving harder than I thought. I am wracked with shame whenever I read one.

I was still on my first Partagas D4 and to be honest I was struggling. I answered all my e-mails and looked lovingly at the couch. Diana brings me a coffee and I refocus onto two outstanding projects both being new non cigar projects with partners, so I have to pull my weight. Contemplate a hair of the dog via a glass of wine but even I know it is not advisable.

I fly the white flag at 4pm. I am home by 4:45pm.

It was a slack day even by my standards. Zachariah Smith said it best….. “Oh the Shame”

Showered and thinking of an early night, Tom (hiding) attacks me with a front kick as I open the sliding wardrobe looking for a T shirt. I wish he was a little taller or a little shorter. Ouch.

[shrink]

and to think... you could have been a respectable banker.

[skindiver]

That has to be one of the most hilarious posts I've ever read. It was all believeable too, until you mentioned Ken showed up to pay his tab!

Fiction has it's incongruities, sometimes.

Funny stuff, Rob!

[yossie]

» Hey, my cigars don't draw properly - what gives?

»

» My experience is that the draw of a cigar improves dramatically by cutting

» the cap. Try it.

What great info!

[gostgost]

You are a piece of work Boss. I think if I felt the way you did by noon I would have blown my brains out.

Dave.

[Colt45]

» Showered and thinking of an early night, Tom (hiding) attacks me with a

» front kick as I open the sliding wardrobe looking for a T shirt. I wish

» he was a little taller or a little shorter. Ouch.

Caps a perfect day

[Vetteman]

Very entertaining Rob. You may have missed your real calling ;-)

[BobLobLaw]

Yeah these are great.

[Tampa1257]

Ken finally paying his TAB????

And the Lighting struck and the Winds are blowing, and the tide has risen, must be the rath of the Almighty bearing down on Ken for this to happen...............;-)

[Jay Hemingway]

and the whole time i feel like lisa will send a hired gun to do me in for my pain in the arse e-mails.

now i know i aint that bad.

(note to self, cut cap off of cigar before smoking)

:-D

[gostgost]

Hey Jay,

How you doing? Long time no hear.....................

Let me know what's going on.

Dave, NJ

(gostgost)

[Thomas]

you have to cut the caps?