El Presidente Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Maximus Robusto finished his meeting with the Minister of Womens Affairs, Yaima Espinosa (former Cubanita). Yaima straightened her dress as they walked slowly together toward the grand marble staircase of Club Habana where they parted ways with a peck on each cheek. Maximus was looking forward to his next meeting almost as much as his last. The President of Habanos s.a was coming in shortly where the decision would be made as to which cigars would be re-introduced for the following year. As Development Minister there were plenty of tough decisions to be made but this one was pleasurable. He knew Presidente Ken was looking forward to the meeting immensely. Presidente Ken was still serious in proposing a Cohiba “Springsteen” Salomones and no matter how much resistance was put up, ken would retort “Compay Segundo had a Montecristo humidor!!!!.....is not the Boss more deserving?” What a beautiful afternoon at the Club Havana Presidential Palace. Looking down over the beach and surf one saw how Havana had a set of colours all of its own....maybe every place did. Here however the colours wrap seamlessly around the air which is alive with a beat of salsa, rum, cigars, sex. Things were changing however. For one, Thunder Road was now playing over the palace speakers. Maximus settled on the terrace overlooking the Atlantic when he could hear the sound of Italian leather soles on Dolomite Marble. The new president of Habanos S.A. had always been a snappy dresser. They embrace. MR “Hamlet...how are you my friend” HP “Good my brother. Where is the Mother F##ker President?” MR “He is in the shower in his office, he will be out in five” HP “OK....give me one minute” Maximus knew what Hamlet was going to do. He could have said no but ever since incident at the Presidential Coronation when Ken hit the deck when firecrackers went off .....all of Cuba knew he was edgy and not all that comfortable around firearms. Hamlet opened the French door to the Presidential office, took a clean brown paper bag from his inside jacket and blew it up. He could hear ken singing “My Way” in the shower......almost there ...... Maximus heard the loud “Bang” from the Terrace, the security guards were in tears ......Hamlet had them all watching, ken appeared naked, pointing, swearing & laughing at the same time. It was 20 minutes later that the meeting convened on the terrace to discuss reintroductions. A bottle of Santiago 20 was in the middle of the table, three glasses, ice, a humidor of Hamlet Custom cigars and a soft sea breeze. PK started. PK “Thank you for coming gentlemen” MR “I work here” HP ‘You are the ******* president man....you want a ******* meeting you have a ******* meeting....**** ...not difficult” PK “Regardless, my sincere thanks. As you know, being President means that I will need to be very impartial in my any decision making when it comes to what is re-introduced or deleted. So Hamlet, Let me pass the floor to you” HP “ Thank you ken” PK “Just one thing.....drop the Monte Open Line” HP “ Anything else Presidente?” PK” Check the warehouses for Montecristo “C” LE. If there are any remaining....put them up against a wall and execute them. MR “ ken.....at what point do you think you will start interfering?” PK “ that’s all” HP “Thank you. After much consideration, the cigar we have decided to reintroduce this year is the Ramon Allones Corona. We would like to re -introduce two more but we do not have the funds to do that and launch new lines. PK “Why?” MR ”We are broke” PK “What is the use of being President when you can’t do what you want when you want to do it! MR “ Dropping Monte Open and another two Limited editions this year will allow us to introduce three new cigars in one format to Diplomatico, Ramon Allones, La Gloria Cubana, PK “What format!!! HP “Flying Pig” PK “BRILLIANT! Three very distinct marques in terms of flavour and one glorious shape! How easy is this presidency caper!!!! Manuel the butler arrived “Presidente, your Dance instructor is here” KP”Thank you Manuel! I am off gentlemen. There is a hot new dance I discovered called the “Macaroni” and i have been learning the words all day” And with that our intrepid President Ken and the head ballerina of the National Ballet headed off with ken singing the words ...hands lifted above his head and dancing all the way to the marble stairs...... “When I dance they call me macaroni, and the boys they say that I´m Buena they all want me, they can´t have me oooooooooooohh Macaroni” God help us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jquest63 Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 LOL!! A triumph! Politics, Cigars, Alcohol, Sex, hints of Violence and Rock and Roll! Can't wait for next installment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crasmith Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Too much!!! LOL!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mkz Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
demiurgic Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Brilliantly graphic and funny as Ken can possibly be as Prez. of Cuba. Keep em coming Prez. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlyFishingDude Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 I thought Ken was already the VP of NZ.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colt45 Posted September 17, 2009 Share Posted September 17, 2009 Another great installment! (except for the Ken appearing naked part......) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tigger Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Another great installment!(except for the Ken appearing naked part......) Every good story needs tension, and he needed something of substance to counterpoint the beautiful images of hot Latin surfer girls and RA Coronas. To bring back those coronas, I do believe I'd float in on Granma II, hide in the jungle, and do whatever it took to get El Garfe in power. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Gargett Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 are you kidding? 'my way' in the shower? i'll have you executed for even thinking that! and in that perfect world, you'd be the first one chained blindfold to the pockmarked wall awaiting the command! and after the other night, the monte petit edmundo would be next to you. (will review when have a moment - it won't be pretty). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chaki Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Very funny! When's the next episode? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colt45 Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Every good story needs tension, and he needed something of substance to counterpoint the beautiful images of hot Latin surfer girls and RA Coronas. That may be true, but this type of visual can only produce what I'll call "negative tension". Well, with me, anyway..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tampa1257 Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 The RA Corona re-introduction idea did bring a tear to my eye! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Gargett Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 next new rule (this could be a lot of fun) - any cigar under five inches is to be fed to the pigs. new national anthem - anything from bruce. national flag - tiny bikini waving from an 8 weight. smithy - get new gear. sauv blanc - hereinafter banned. savvy vineyards, forfeited and turned into carparks (so finally of some use). telstra - banned. split up into as many component parts as possible and then everyone of them buried in acid drums. the stumbling wombat - under review. ashes? do over. lisa - cats are now banned. become a dog person. pies - condemned to lose every final by a point in the last minute. cowboys - ditto. no one gets into a bledisloe cup game played on aussie soil without an aussie passport and/or a job (so no kiwis either way). happy to entertain further suggestions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Gargett Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 ps - any remaining sticks of the original SLR DC's immediately confiscated as crown property and to be forwarded tio the palace forthwith. ditto tang monarchs. cuaba? any roller who has made those toxic litter boxes will, from now on, roll newspapers, not cigars. last year's LE excluded. rob - find something, anything, useful to do with your time (this was not useful). smithy - all videos must be done within the same calendar year as in which they were filmed. monte opens - the person who came up with that concept shall be locked in a small room, forced to smoke them all, every day, for the next ten years. their only company shall be a wonky soundsystem playing, alternately, 'kung fu fighting, 'i've never been to me' (or whatever it is) and 'shadup your face' - those songs are the monte opens of the music world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trevor2118 Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 You have absolutely too much time on your hands...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Gargett Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 You have absolutely too much time on your hands...... prepared to sacrifice that to make a better world. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thechenman Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Another great post Maximus Robusto...What a great porn name that would make. Could rival Dirk Diggler. KG...glad to see you've got an agenda al ready to go. Keep em coming... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laficion Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 THE OFFICIAL PRESIDENTIAL PICTURE FROM THE PALACE OF CLUB HABANA B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colt45 Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 THE OFFICIAL PRESIDENTIAL PICTURE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tigger Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aavkk Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 great read Rob and Ken come on... any press is good press! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thechenman Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 THE OFFICIAL PRESIDENTIAL PICTURE FROM THE PALACE OF CLUB HABANA B Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El Presidente Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 !LOL! Well done Guy. He looks at home doesn't he Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
greenpimp Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Ken's already drunk with imaginary power... I love it. Great story Rob. That musta been some great meds you were on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Gargett Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 i'd like to introduce my ministry... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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