El Presidente Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Some ideas have **** written all over it and this one reeked to high Heaven. President ken was in fine spirits this morning for the weekly cabinet meeting. Maximus Robusto scanned the cabinet table and took in the 12 females who collectively looked like the film clip to Robert Palmers “Simply irresistible”. Today was a big day as it was the opening to the first Habanos Festival under the new Presidente ken regime. PK and Minister for almost everything....Jose... had worked together to revitalize the Festival into a week of parties based around friendships and no sit down long dinners. The Presidential Palace (Club Havana) was to be the showcase for the opening night. PK had gone all out to get “The Boss” Springsteen to play on the beach for the evening. What worried Maximus was Kens brainstorm of a Cuban wine tasting on the evening followed by Cuban wines for the event. The fact that the Treasury had no money to pay Springsteens $1m appearance fee was also a slight concern. PK: “ Sorry I am late people, I was just finishing my opening address for the Festival in Spanish” In unison....Hamlets, Jose’s and Maximus’s heads hit the table. Jose:“Ken, may I respectfully recommend I read your speech to ensure it is correct?” PK: “ No need Jose...I am fluent!” Hamlet: “Ken...at last week’s meeting with Chavez you called him a transvestite!” PK:” That wasn’t my fault Hamlet! Maximus told me Travestido meant world leader! No, I am going to write my own speeches from here on. Spanish is very much like English except you add an “O” to everything and use your hands a lot”. Hamlet:” We are ****ed” Maximus:“Lets give ken a break. I mean how much damage can he do....it is a Cigar Festival for Heavens sake”. Ken: “Grasiass Mr Robusto. Yo mucho competenete!” Hamlet: “estamos jodido” Ken: ” Is that the new cigar we are releasing for the Festival Hamlet” Hamlet: “No mucho competente Presidente. It means we’re ****ed but the new range of “Flying Pigs” are ready for launch. They are magnificent” Ken:” Excellente! Jose the Cuban wines for the evening are ready and chilling? Have Jancis Robinson, Suckling and the other wine reviewers arrived?” Jose: “Presidente, the vinegar is chilling. The wine writers have arrived” Maximus: “For the love god Ken, let’s change this to a rum tasting and have a rum and mojito night!” Ken: “you are all too negative. We must promote everything Cuban!” “Maximus, has Springsteen arrived? I want to go over the songs I want played. I also want to make sure he pulls me on stage during Dancing in the Dark.... like Courteney Cox.... so I can do a bit of a dance. I want the world to know that things have changed in Cuba. Hamlet: “yes...they will know we have a *** mother ****** presidente who can’t dance” Maximus: “Hamlet,position minister Yaima near the stage” Ken: “Enough of this negativity. It will be a smashing success!!!” “Maximus...does Springsteen know he will be paid in local Pesos” Maximus: “No Ken, but the printing presses are going full bore” Ken: “Gorgeous Minister Yaima, have you arranged a suitable escort for me this evening?” Yaima “Miss Cuba will accompany you this evening Presidente” Maximus “ Are we paying her in Pesos or Maytags?” Ken ”Smartarse” And with that ken left the meeting..jigging away... hands in the air.. practicing for his hoped for duet with the Boss of “Born to Run ”. Maximus gives the final instructions to the ministers. “Jose...chill the wine to 4 degees Celsius. Lets get it so cold no one will notice how bad it is” “Hamlet...Arrange 3 Mojitos per person upon arrival...half rum” ‘Yaima...Bruce is looking for his money. Stall him until after the show” Go with God people and may the heavens shine upon us. It was a sea of faces at the Havana Club Presidential Palace as Presidente Ken walked over the mosaic tiles to the top of the stairs to deliver his opening address. Ken was resplendent in a Black Armani dinner jacket with scarlet cummerbund and tailored trousers. Hamlet, Jose and Maximus were standing together at the bottom of the stairs. Hamlet: “It is a good start” Jose: “Yes..he is wearing trousers” Hamlet “Are they ******* medals on his jacket?” Maximus “Yes, he gives himself a medal if he goes a day without making a critical mistake” Jose: “There’s only three medals?” Maximus “Tell me about it” Ken moves forward to the microphone with the eyes of all 1400 guests upon him. ” Testing.....testing..Testing” “Hola Amigos y Ormigas!” Hamlet: “Did the *******er just say “hello Friends and Ants?” Maximus: “Yep...looks like the medal count stays at three” To be continued. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mkz Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asmith Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I can't believe President Ken has three medels? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zuma Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mkz Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I can't believe Presedent Ken has three medels? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Gargett Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 listen, as i have told you before. spanish is easy. get a very bad cold and make certain that there is no pause of any kind in any sentence and as few vowels as possible except that 'o' on the end. i've tried cuban wine and for this drivel, you'll be served nothing but next time on the balcony (shame we were not filming today - weird effects). are you going to do one of these every time you are hungover? and smithy, get a spellcheck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colt45 Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I can't believe President Ken has three medels? no doubt the three are made of candy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
demiurgic Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 You sure have a knack for writing Prez, I mean it. laughed out loud! on that one, thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Gargett Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 You sure have a knack for writing Prez, I mean it. laughed out loud! on that one, thanks nice to know that some on the forum are so easily pleased!! and seriously, hands up anyone who doesn't think chavez is a tranny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CigarmanTim Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 “Maximus, has Springsteen arrived? I want to go over the songs I want played. I also want to make sure he pulls me on stage during Dancing in the Dark.... like Courteney Cox.... so I can do a bit of a dance. I want the world to know that things have changed in Cuba. Hamlet: “yes...they will know we have a *** mother ****** presidente who can’t dance” Thankfully I read this in the morning rather than the night....A visual I didn't need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laficion Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 I'm really enjoying this , keep them coming Rob, Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tigger Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Great stuff, as usual Rob! and seriously, hands up anyone who doesn't think chavez is a tranny. He's a vicious little troll. Calling him a tranny is unfair to trannies everywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thechenman Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Very funny...write enough of these and you can put together a book... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
n2advnture Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 ROFLMAO!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aavkk Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 that is really good stuff, keep it coming Rob. Also, maybe we can find a way to incorporate Smithy as a some sort of foreign leader in the next installment... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kjellfrick Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Thanks, Rob, a brilliant read! You actually even make it possible to visualize the events, so what if you were to throw in some olfactory cues to widen the experience a bit? On second thought...maybe not such a good idea... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brooklyn Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 Priceless! More,please! Peter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jquest63 Posted September 23, 2009 Share Posted September 23, 2009 LOL! I'm sensing discontent on the staff. Will Ken survive the Presidency? Is a millitary coup or an assassination on the horizen? Would the Australian embassy give him asylum? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garysq Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I suppose, being new here, that I have missed something, but DAMN, that's funny stuff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
First Lady Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I suppose, being new here, that I have missed something, but DAMN, that's funny stuff! Just want the video Reviews and you will understand what Ken is all about and last week Rob wrote his first story of President Ken while he was at home with Swine flu and it has continued from there.... Sit back and enjoy and wait for the next installment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colt45 Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Sit back and enjoy and wait for the next installment I do think that when the saga is finished, it should be pinned in the classic posts section Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laficion Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 Classic post, YES absoulutely When the saga is finished, Keep them coming Rob Finished is when you've written the full novelized part just before the full length video version. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colt45 Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 ......just before the full length video version. The picture in my head of KG dancing around in his boxers is more than enough for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laficion Posted September 24, 2009 Share Posted September 24, 2009 I'm sure that Ken would make the big times, wine tasting and dancing at " Le Moulin Rouge " in Paris But, I would still prefer a Video Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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